Blogging

LXXII: Oh, So You Just Have NO Self-Control... ?

Song: I Hate Giving You Everything by Arlissa

Some situations have ‘unhealthy’ written all over them. And yet, they are so appealing!

I have never encountered a situation that worked, didn’t and then became unhealthy to the point of having to split before NOW. How human of me, right? I hate it.

So, the mind is a crazy thing. Add to that the powers of the heart and you’ve got nothing but trouble. All of this leads to my current feelings:

I: I really want to keep something around that really needs to be let go of

II: I really miss having someone around who really shouldn’t be around

III: I really wish things went differently, when who knows if that situation was even for me

I could rack my brain and play out scenarios for days where we don’t lose what oftentimes feels special or different, but then how will we become who we are meant to become? But let’s slow it down:

Honestly, in all of my moments of weakness surrounding this whole ordeal, I find myself missing our laughs, our random conversations, our arguments and disagreements, our crazy and random adventures and so much more on the broad spectrum. On the narrower spectrum, I find myself missing his eyes, his laugh, his touch, his insane sense of humor, or the way that his face just works (maybe even left-handed things)!

These are the moments that I think, ‘Oh, one text message wouldn’t hurt’, or ‘Hmm, maybe we should just hang out and keep it light’. IT’S LEGITIMATELY AN INTERNAL BATTLE.

 

Sidebar: Have you ever been in a battle with your mind and your heart? That is the most uncontrolled fight you will ever take part in. Impulse is literally the only winner when those two are fighting and my impulse is usually an ‘okay, send the text’. I give in!!!

 

BUT HOW WILL I GROW IF I’M NOT EVEN WILLING TO EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL IN THIS INSTANCE?

My biggest fear in “letting myself grow away from this situation” or in exercising self-control (as I’ve put it) is that maybe I am not supposed to let it go so easily (and I use that loosely because it has not been easy). Maybe I am supposed to fight for it. Maybe this one is worth it (chuckle chuckle, because, are they ever worth it? 🤔).

Two factors, however, control what I can do in this situation: (1) I can’t fix it alone — teamwork makes the dream work, and (2) I don’t want to fight for something that will land me in a worse position than the one I’m already in!

These two factors usually help determine what you should do, or which direction you should go next with whomever this person-in-question is. The fact that giving up is easier than actually putting in work for what’s worth it makes it to where teamwork would be impossible in my situation. Some people like complacency and everything that comes easily is preferred. If they have to work for it, then they don’t want it. And secondly, with a person like this, how would I not end up in a worse position?! I’d be fighting for something that the other party would just drop the moment it gets difficult!

If my two factors above establish whether or not self-control needs to be exercised, then it is abundantly clear that this situation has got to go and that it’s on me to exercise enough control to ensure that it does!

In 100% transparency, I have completely said self-control be darned and just given into it at every avenue, but at some point we have to acknowledge that:

THIS NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE IS EXACTLY WHAT WAS NEEDED TO SPARK THE LIGHT THAT LIT THE FIRE IN WHO I AM ABOUT TO BECOME.

You can’t grow if you don’t change what is not good around you and within you. Exercise of self-control is just a step. Perseverance is a requirement. Self-awareness is imperative. Reflection is crucial. And, knowing your self-worth will literally save your life.

With that, I’ve let it go! 🤷🏾‍♀️

LXIX: Blogs To Be On The Lookout For?

Oh Hay, 2019! Let’s start the year off right by loving on some bloggers, authors and content creators!

A big part of blogging is engaging with the blogging community, so why not do a Tag Post!

In this post, I’ll share a couple of blogs by bloggers that I came across on Twitter (⬅️Click the Link to find and follow me). I will try my best to sort them by their focus areas, but excuse me if I miss the mark a bit — a lot of the following bloggers specialize in many areas.

Let’s dive in:

 

AUTHORS

The Colonel & The Bee   By: Patrick Canning  Website:  https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

The Colonel & The Bee

By: Patrick Canning

Website: https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key   By: Katie Masters  Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key

By: Katie Masters

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

These particular book bloggers and authors feature either chapter books, or reviews of books to their sites for readers to enjoy. As a book blogger myself, I love the set up of these bloggers’ sites and content! Check them out by clicking below:

https://readitbyroma.wordpress.com/

http://dhawaljoshi.in

 

BEAUTY BLOGGERS

Messages Image(1611716800).png

Beauty that Walks is a lifestyle, hair, make-up, product review and fashion blog that I, personally, love!

It is run by Editor-and-Chief, Tione Rodney, a student studying Business Administration at the University of the Virgin Islands.

If the natural hair help isn’t enough to get you hooked on her site, then maybe the wide range of posts will. Ms. Rodney clearly does not play when it comes to blogging and I can fully appreciate her range of knowledge.

Don’t believe me, check her out for yourself!


https://www.beautythatwalks.com/

 

FASHION BLOGGERS

If you are into bright, beautiful & fashion-forward bloggers, then you have to check out Marie’s Blog at whatcorrinedid.com

Here’s a snippet, but I promise you, her page is one you don’t want to pass up! Check her out!

 

LIFESTYLE BLOGGERS

Lifestyle blogs range in variety, we have all things haunted with Medium, Kristi at Haunted History Jaunts with Kristi; or, if you’re not into that, then maybe you’re into enjoying a laugh or two with Philomath who posts funny lifestyle posts to Querianson!

But, if that’s not your speed, then check out what life is like with an invisible mental illness and how it changes your outlook on life with everyone’s favorite Fibro Mom, Suzanne at FibroMomBlog. Or, if you’re curious about a disability that is more noticeable and also very common, then check out Holly’s blog Life of a Blind Girl (a blog that I can definitely relate to)!

A lot of times, bloggers mix mental health into their lifestyle blogs (which I personally love) and of those bloggers, you have to check out Randomly Creative run by Yvonne Wabai, or by Milli on Poised Prodigy.

Maybe you need a bit of uplifting? Check out The Curious Sedulous, a new blogger with tips on beating procrastination and taking yourself from mediocre to productive AF.

Another new blogger worth checking out is Chevany at Chevy Takes The Mic!

Finally, for all things life and law school check out the lovely Corina’s blog Corina’s Corner!

Curtesy of Corina of   Corina’s Corner  !

Curtesy of Corina of Corina’s Corner!

 

FOODIE BLOGGERS

Bites n’ Pieces is a foodie’s stop-shop!

Check out this website for fun and exciting recipes and cutesy lifestyle posts!

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Thanks for reading, clicking and engaging! Content creators, you’re doing wonderful work! Check out someone else’s and spread the love!

•Bree

Let’s Be Breef

LI: PR Opportunities: Which Ones Should You Take?

As a blogger with a niche, you get many opportunities to work with tons of brands with tons of perks. But, that does not mean that every offer is a good offer.

This post is all about choosing the right opportunity for you and the direction/focus of your blog/brand.

FIGURING OUT YOUR FOCUS

As a blogger, I think it is important to know your audience based on knowing where your focus area is. This area will be a bit wider for Lifestyle Bloggers, of course, and more focused for those with very specific blogging topics.

I am a Lifestyle Blogger, for those of you who don’t know. This means that I blog about a wide variety of topics. But, I have pretty much found my stride in posts about mental health, travel, makeup, fitness (coming soon), fashion, relationships, food, and books (of course).

So, any PR Requests sent to my blog’s email are usually, but not always, focused on these areas. With the exception of travel, simply because getting travel PR Requests is a HUGE deal because they’re paying for you and one other person to travel somewhere and blog about it. You have to be one of the best to get this type of chance (one day 😚).

WHAT TO DO WITH THE PR REQUESTS

For the PR Requests that you intend to accept, it is best to dive right into the research. For me, as a blogger of color, I have to check for a number of things before choosing to work with a particular company simply because I do not want to make it appear as though I support someone’s bad choices or beliefs.

After I conduct research on that, I look deeper into the product: what materials were used to create the product; how was the product produced; where is the product normally retailed; and the list goes on.

If these things check out, then I look at the package deal that the company/person is offering. Sometimes the offer is something that seems overly burdensome to the blogger, so it is best to check that the request is something that you, based on your ability and schedule, can do.

After checking all of these things, I’d say, go for it!

But let’s discuss the PR Requests that you are not taking:

For these PR Requests, it’s best to write/send a very nice “thank you, but no thank you” letter. This is you actually acknowledging that you’ve received said opportunity and that you are appreciative of the company even sending it to you.

This is just a common curtesy that you definitely do not have to do, but that you should do.

GOING TO THEM VS. THEM COMING TO YOU

Now, for the bloggers who are just finding their way in this world, it is so appealing to reach out to companies in the hopes of working with them.

A lot of the times, however, you are so excited about potentially teaming up that you send that request to any and every company that will even listen to you. Now, as a new blogger (I have no clue how long I will consider myself a new blogger) you may have to go the Reach Out Route as opposed to being the one who is getting the emailed opportunities and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But, you should still be aware of who you are reaching out to, how you should properly approach them, and what they are about.

In going to the company, be sure to present yourself and your brand well: (1) prepare a formal letter/request, (2) link your site, (3) give a brief blurb/bio about yourself and your blog (DA, site views, etc.), and (4) make an offer (you have to know what your work is worth in order to do this).

THE DOWNFALL TO IT ALL

The biggest downfall that I see with blogging here in the States is that blogging is not as big here as it is in the U.K.

Now, a lot of my readers are housed in the U.K. and some of them even blog. The overseas audience seems to be more interested in zoning out at the nearest scenic coffee shop and reading — books and blogs. It seems like people in the States would rather go places to geotag and take/post pictures. We don’t really live in moments here, we live for the moments that get us the most likes.

So, although blogging is dope when done “right” (whatever that means), I want to see more than just gossip blogs make it in the States. I want to see more blogging conferences where we all come together in the States. I want to see more support for bloggers and between bloggers on this side of the pond. I’m so ready for blog conferences guys, let’s get it going!

As much as this seems like a downfall, it may also turn itself into an opportunity. 😉

So, I hope that this was helpful to those of you just trying to make a dollar off of your Creative! Be sure to hit the like, or comment button and let me know what you think!