Commitment

XLVII: When Is It Right To Bring Him Home To Mama?

In such hasty times, how does one know when’s the right time to bring that special someone home to meet the parents?

I, personally, say that ‘the longer you can wait, the better’ (and I also feel the same way about introducing him/her to your friends)! But, there are definitely steps and signs to look for to determine whether you are both ready to Meet The Parents:

The Conversation:

Now, some guys do rush into things just as much as some girls do. When the rush is presented, it comes with the opportunity for the correct conversations to be had.

In other words, this is the open door to the talks about where your relationship is headed. Where I’m from, you don’t just introduce any old body to your family, so, in having the appropriate conversations, you ensure that you’re not invited someone into you and your family’s life who doesn’t deserve to be there.

This conversation will look many ways, but the main goal here is to at least talk about it. In talking about it, it is important to weigh the pros and cons of introducing your significant other to your family, it is important to discuss why you even believe that it is time to introduce one another to the family, and it is important because each person can then know what to expect once the family has been introduced and what the next steps for the couple will be.

So, have the conversation! It’s so necessary and it will open the door to truths about whether Meeting The Parents is the correct “next step” in your relationship. 

The Choice:

Sometimes we just convince ourselves that:

(1) we’re great together so there’s no way that this won’t last;

(2) we’re in love and this is what we want; and/or

(3) we’ve made it this far, we might as well go the distance.

This impatience is surely to be to your own detriment. I’ve rushed into introducing someone who is now (of course) an ex to my family and I completely regret it. I cherish my family so much, and when I was finally shown who my ex really was, it was so disappointing for me to have introduced such a horrible person to my flock of great people.

So, although your significant other may seem to be so enticing, so smart, so beautiful, so perfect now, be wary until you truly know this person before bringing them home. Protect your family from him/her by getting to know who you’re dealing with before choosing to make MTP the next step in your relationship.

The Coincidence:

Sometimes we accidentally Meet The Parents!

You know, that awkward run in, or the emergency that removes you from the comfort of your date night and places you smack dab in the emergency waiting room with all of your family and your newest beau.

This situation is often unavoidable, so order your steps carefully following this initial encounter.

The Commitment:  

In my opinion, the best time to introduce him/her to the family is when you’ve both committed yourselves to each other. At this point, you both know that you’re serious about each other, you’ve chosen to be faithful to each other, to respect and love each other, to support each other & to put each other first, etc. This is when it’s REAL.

At this point, there should be no doubts in the minds of either party and you both should know each others ins and outs, love languages, wants and needs, modes of communication, etc. You know who you’re dealing with at this point.

The only con to waiting this long is that you run the risk of your family not liking him or her. But, by this point, the idea is that you’ve put your significant other through an intensive vetting process and there’s no way that you could love some that your family doesn’t (unless they are choosing not to for other reasons). 


Good luck to all of the couples out there taking this big step! I wish you all the best.