Lifestyle

LXXXVI: Am I Being Irrational?

Do any of you have fears that other’s may consider irrational?

You know, the weird fears of things that others wouldn’t even think to be afraid of?

Well, I certainly do! So, this post is me just sharing a couple of my fears in the hopes that my readers will share a couple of theirs!

Here we go, it’s fear time: 

Ants

If you’ve ever been to Texas and/or stepped on an anthill, then I do not need to explain this fear to you at all.

For as long as I can remember, I have had the biggest fear of these little creatures. If I see ONE, then my whole day is ruined, I have to shower, & restart it!

There was even a time when a soda exploded in my freezer and by morning a trail of ants came from outside and into my apartment to get said soda. I screamed, I cried, & I called an ex who had to leave work to come to my place and clean my kitchen all because he knew how deeply this fear runs. 

This fear is no joke. I don’t think that there will ever be a time that I’ll be okay with ants, and this is honestly a fear that I’m fine with.  

Butterflies

This is true, I am beyond afraid of butterflies and here’s why: 

When I was younger, my family lived by Six Flags Marine World (it’s name before it became Discovery Kingdom). Because we lived so close, we found it necessary to get season passes and walk over every once in awhile. 

On one of our visits, someone had the grand idea of going into the butterfly exhibit. Now, let me stop right here and say that this place is wall to wall, floor to ceiling butterflies flying freely and ruining young girls lives.  

I go into this exhibit a very curious, young, bright-eyed girl and leave with a new and very real fear! Spring hasn’t been the same since.

Thunder

Let me just say, these are definitely in order of most feared to least, and I have absolutely no shame in any of them, so don’t even ask!

Now I’ve tried everything to get rid of this fear but nothing works! I’ve tried to learn the ins & outs of what thunder is, but nothing has helped me get over this fear.  

I just cannot do thunder. If I’m home alone and it starts to thunder, I always wait to see who calls because I think only those who have known me for a certain amount of time and who have also paid attention know that I do not play around with thunder. But if they don’t call fast enough, then I usually call my mom or my dad — two of my best friends.

FLYING

To this, I want to add that there’s a time limit on this fear.

I am okay with flying on flights that are less than 5 hours! Around the 5 hour mark, however, I start to wonder how we are mechanically, physically and scientifically still in the air which then makes me quietly panic.  

Now, I’m adult enough to not publicly panic on planes because there is already so much anxiety attached to many who fly, so I’m very cognizant of this while in the air. But this does not mean that my fears aren’t in high gear.  

This definitely won’t keep me off of a long flight but it does ensure that I pack plenty of sleeping agents for whenever I do fly.  


I know that I am not the only person with strange or irrational fears, so feel free to share a couple by commenting below!

💕

LXXXI: I Think I’ve Earned My Right To Not Be Okay With BS, Yes?

Someone asked that I write out this post so that I can get it all out and “feel better”.

I honestly do not believe that writing out this post will help me at all, but I do believe that it will help some of my close friends understand why I’ve been so distant.

I TEND TO DISTANCE MYSELF WHEN I’M AT A LOSS.

I am the type of person that believes that you can bring down other peoples’s mood with your mood, so I feel that, me feeling down daily will affect those around me. I, of course, do not like that. So, I distance myself. I don’t see the point in discussing the things that have gotten me down because it’s usually the case that, if I’m already at the point, then we’re past the time where something can be done about it.

A BIG PART OF THIS POST IS THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING!

I am done with everything.

I have worked my butt off for decades at everything and everyone in my life. Doors were closed in my face, and I’d pivot and open new doors. I was told no, and I’d lift my head and make a ‘yes’ out of it. I was given lemons, I always made lemonade. I was given dead flowers and I turned them into a backdrop.

But, I am tired.

For years I’ve picked myself up, I’ve been my own hero. I’ve been my own biggest fan. I’ve been my own cheerleader. I’ve fought. I’ve studied. I’ve learned. I’ve tried. BUT I AM DONE.

I’ve worked myself to a point of knowing, wholeheartedly, that I deserve a break. So, I’m taking one.

I’m tired of having to pick myself up after other people’s disappointments. I’m tired of being stuck with the thought and memories of people who have no thoughts and memories of me. I am tired of wanting better for people who do not even want better for themselves.

SUPERHERO OFF DUTY.

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This superhero is now off duty. I do not want to be the strong Black woman who has it all together, who is always working her butt off at everything only to come second, and who gives her all to relationships only to end up not even knowing the person once it’s over.

For the time being, I am free.

There is very little that I care about and very little that I am going to do. Apart from studying and finishing up law school strong, I am done. I don’t care about anything. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to even talk to anyone. 🤷🏾‍♀️

BUT, WHY IS THIS OKAY?

In my opinion, this is okay because, the alternative is to lose my mind. I’d rather not allow the things and people of this world to make me insane. I’d rather do what I need to do to keep my sanity.

Realizing your limits is a very important thing. And person to person, those limits will look very different. For me, this is what it looks like when I’ve reached my limit. I literally have to throw my hands up regarding everything in my life and just let it all go.

I think that, as long as I explain to my readers why my content has been one-sided, and as long as I explain to my friends and family why I’ve been so distant then I’ve officially covered my bases and can begin to do what I need to do for me.

Luckily for my readers, I love blogging, so I will continue to blog, but apart from that, I’m off the grid. ✌🏾

LXX: The Woman - Body Positivity!

So many women struggle with embracing and loving their own bodies as they are. 

They want to change or alter what always was; they want to inflate, carve out, or add to areas that, in their minds, enhance the shallow idea of “beauty” in today’s world; and, to obtain all of this, they tear their bodies down and overcompensate with chemicals, injections and dietary products.

I completely understand seeing women in the media with perfect Coke bottle shapes, small waists, big butts, & hips for days. Or the complete opposite end of the spectrum where the women are super small, with a wide leg gap, ribs that show and legs for days. Yes, these may look appealing in photographs but are also accompanied by very unhealthy ends to get, keep and maintain this image.

Body Positivity is so important in these days. It is simply being comfortable and confident in the very skin that you are in. Not striving to change. Not striving to alter. Just being completely happy with who and what you are.

A big part of body positivity is understanding your body type:

There are many charts out there that help you understand the different body types so that you can find out which body type you have.

This is a shortened version of a body type chart. These are the five basics and, of course, there are many more variations of these core groups of body types.  I am honestly a mixture of 1, 2, & 4. The fact that I have no hips makes me a dead ringer for the squared proportions in number 1. My broad shoulders place me happily into number 2. And the fact that I have buns and thighs are my only saving grace for leveling myself out and leaning me more towards a number 4.  Now, in fully understanding what my body looks like, I can pretty much see what limits I can push my body to.  But, another important component here is understanding where your meals show the most. My food legitimately goes to my thighs and my stomach areas. So, I am sure to keep cardio a constant in my workouts in order to maintain. This is another important aspect of understanding your body type (knowing where you food shows most). Just saying…  It’s all about knowing your body.

This is a shortened version of a body type chart. These are the five basics and, of course, there are many more variations of these core groups of body types.

I am honestly a mixture of 1, 2, & 4. The fact that I have no hips makes me a dead ringer for the squared proportions in number 1. My broad shoulders place me happily into number 2. And the fact that I have buns and thighs are my only saving grace for leveling myself out and leaning me more towards a number 4.

Now, in fully understanding what my body looks like, I can pretty much see what limits I can push my body to.

But, another important component here is understanding where your meals show the most. My food legitimately goes to my thighs and my stomach areas. So, I am sure to keep cardio a constant in my workouts in order to maintain. This is another important aspect of understanding your body type (knowing where you food shows most). Just saying…

It’s all about knowing your body.

After you understand, You Have to act like you understand:

A scary thing that I see women doing these days is taking drastic measures to change their body types. There was a huge surge in the purchases of waist trainers when Kim K and her clan of siblings started doing promo for them.

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The companies that profit from the sales of these waist trainers then began to take it to extreme levels by adding components to the waist trainers that add more of a SQUEEZE to the women starting at her ribcage and ending at her waistline.

Once Kim posted with this super tight waist trainer on, women all over started getting tighter and tighter waist trainers until they decided to just say ‘Forget it! Take some ribs out!’

Before you know it, there are millions of women scraping together pennies to get botched surgeries, dieting in all of the wrong ways, and trying anything possible to look like women who paid big money for the bodies that they are rocking in the first place (i.e. all Kardashian/Jenner except Kendall and Kourtney).

There are so many positive and healthy changes that can be made to ones body with a proper diet and exercise. But, it starts with being comfortable with who you are and with what you have.

Sidebar, but of equal importance:

Self-esteem is lacking largely in the women community of social media these days(hence the reason you see all of these girls twerking down your timelines and half naked in bathroom mirrors). Body positivity is a move in a positive direction pertaining to self-esteem and self-love that all women should be striving to adopt [and if not body positivity, then maybe self respect].

We all have problem areas, but choose to love yours!

I completely hate the fact that I have no hips and a substantial hip dip. It also doesn’t help that I let myself grow a muffin top last summer which is still peaking its little head through at any chance.

This has completely distorted whatever shape I had potential to have! And, although I am working on getting rid of my babytop and these hip dips, I still completely love my body! I still do not wish that I had any other shape or size, and I didn’t need a Kardashian-like “workout” (i.e. surgery), or Instagram tea to get here!

Loving yourself is literally the key to all types of prosperity. Start with loving who you see when you look in your mirror.

Disclaimer: The Kardashian/Jenner’s are the focus of this post because they’re clearly the most self conscious and yet self-absorbed social media personalities who have built a career on sex tapes, scandal, lies, plastic surgeries, and objectifying & fetishizing Black men all while influencing all ye young impressionable minds who worship them — thereby leading to your own self-loathing and body shaming.

I, in no way, support the Kardashians or the Jenners. They are just the perfect example of why a lot of girls are taking extreme measures to change their bodies.

LXIX: Blogs To Be On The Lookout For?

Oh Hay, 2019! Let’s start the year off right by loving on some bloggers, authors and content creators!

A big part of blogging is engaging with the blogging community, so why not do a Tag Post!

In this post, I’ll share a couple of blogs by bloggers that I came across on Twitter (⬅️Click the Link to find and follow me). I will try my best to sort them by their focus areas, but excuse me if I miss the mark a bit — a lot of the following bloggers specialize in many areas.

Let’s dive in:

 

AUTHORS

The Colonel & The Bee   By: Patrick Canning  Website:  https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

The Colonel & The Bee

By: Patrick Canning

Website: https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key   By: Katie Masters  Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key

By: Katie Masters

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

These particular book bloggers and authors feature either chapter books, or reviews of books to their sites for readers to enjoy. As a book blogger myself, I love the set up of these bloggers’ sites and content! Check them out by clicking below:

https://readitbyroma.wordpress.com/

http://dhawaljoshi.in

 

BEAUTY BLOGGERS

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Beauty that Walks is a lifestyle, hair, make-up, product review and fashion blog that I, personally, love!

It is run by Editor-and-Chief, Tione Rodney, a student studying Business Administration at the University of the Virgin Islands.

If the natural hair help isn’t enough to get you hooked on her site, then maybe the wide range of posts will. Ms. Rodney clearly does not play when it comes to blogging and I can fully appreciate her range of knowledge.

Don’t believe me, check her out for yourself!


https://www.beautythatwalks.com/

 

FASHION BLOGGERS

If you are into bright, beautiful & fashion-forward bloggers, then you have to check out Marie’s Blog at whatcorrinedid.com

Here’s a snippet, but I promise you, her page is one you don’t want to pass up! Check her out!

 

LIFESTYLE BLOGGERS

Lifestyle blogs range in variety, we have all things haunted with Medium, Kristi at Haunted History Jaunts with Kristi; or, if you’re not into that, then maybe you’re into enjoying a laugh or two with Philomath who posts funny lifestyle posts to Querianson!

But, if that’s not your speed, then check out what life is like with an invisible mental illness and how it changes your outlook on life with everyone’s favorite Fibro Mom, Suzanne at FibroMomBlog. Or, if you’re curious about a disability that is more noticeable and also very common, then check out Holly’s blog Life of a Blind Girl (a blog that I can definitely relate to)!

A lot of times, bloggers mix mental health into their lifestyle blogs (which I personally love) and of those bloggers, you have to check out Randomly Creative run by Yvonne Wabai, or by Milli on Poised Prodigy.

Maybe you need a bit of uplifting? Check out The Curious Sedulous, a new blogger with tips on beating procrastination and taking yourself from mediocre to productive AF.

Another new blogger worth checking out is Chevany at Chevy Takes The Mic!

Finally, for all things life and law school check out the lovely Corina’s blog Corina’s Corner!

Curtesy of Corina of   Corina’s Corner  !

Curtesy of Corina of Corina’s Corner!

 

FOODIE BLOGGERS

Bites n’ Pieces is a foodie’s stop-shop!

Check out this website for fun and exciting recipes and cutesy lifestyle posts!

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Thanks for reading, clicking and engaging! Content creators, you’re doing wonderful work! Check out someone else’s and spread the love!

•Bree

Let’s Be Breef

LXVII: What I've Learned, Thus Far, From 2018?

Here we are! Another installment and another year of lessons!

I’ve changed things up this year and entered into it feeling a bit more liberated than I was in 2017. I had decided early on that I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted and try things. But, with that, I also opened myself up to people which is something that I normally steer very clear of.

Whenever you open up your heart, mind, and ears to new people, you’ll definitely be learning new lessons, however. Trust me!

So, here are a couple of the lessons that I’ve learned, thus far, this year:

STEER CLEAR OF THOSE WHO WANT YOUR RHYTHM BUT NOT YOUR BLUES

Wanting my rhythm and not my blues simply means that someone wants to be around me when I am happy and having fun, but when stuff hits the fan of life, they want to hit the road.

I’ve had this type of person in my life plenty-a-time!

The bad thing about me, however, is that when it comes to people who I have allowed into my life, I genuinely try my best to keep them.

BUT, sometimes in life you go through things, not to learn to work through them, but to learn to walk away from bad situations

This year has been one big lesson on walking away for me. It gets so lonely sometimes, but walking away from people who want to be around when all is well but leave when things get difficult is a very necessary reality. 

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

The way you view a situation says a lot about the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.

Now, I generally look at situations from a very realistic standpoint. I also use facts from the past that have created a pattern to assist with the way in which I view those situations. So, in short, when a situation presents itself, I’m an absolute realist through and through.

Now, this year has been filled with ups and downs, and I’ve worked at keeping my outlook on things upbeat enough to allow myself the ability to continue on in whatever direction I am attempting to go in life without letting things get me too down.

Changing my perspective on a lot of the things that have happened to me lately has seriously helped. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so necessary. A lot of times, perspective comes through in the form of a glass being half empty or a glass being half full. 2018 has taught me to look at things with the glass half full which has allowed me the opportunity to fill it the rest of the way on my own.

WHEN SOMETHING IS FOR YOU, IT WILL ALWAYS BECOME YOURS

This is super important for me to remember! 

I oftentimes work overtime to keep friendships and relationships with people who have never even deserved my time in the first place. It’s in my nature, however, to nurture those relationships...

BUT, when a relationship is for you, it will be yours without all of the tug-of-war! I forget this so much and it results in me making people feel way more needed than they actually are by trying to keep them in my life.

This is a habit, in me, that needs to be left in 2018. Because, trust me, you won’t be forcing the friendships and relationships that are meant to happen!  

BE REAL WITH EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES 

Now, first and foremost, you have to be real with yourself! But after that, you have to be real with everyone else.

I met someone this year who was such a gem! A beautiful soul inside and out. But, if you asked me, now, whether or not I still know this person, then my answer would honestly have to be ‘no’.

This person was so good at pretending to be the great person that I grew to very fondly enjoy, but [as you’ll read below] people can only pretend for so long (and sometimes for too long) before their true colors show.

It turns out that this person was a complete stranger to me when they showed me who they really were. What a shock!

I can see from that situation that it is, a lot of times, hard for some people to just be themselves which, to me, seems like it would be more work to pretend to be someone or something else. But, I digress, …

People usually teach me the biggest lessons and from this person, I’ve learned that you have to be super mindful of who and what you are. Remain true to yourself no matter the situation.

Real will attract real, but you have to weed through a lot of fake to get to it.

PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT PRETENDING — WATCH FOR SIGNS

I have made the mistake of underestimating the amount of time that people can live while being fake and, trust me, they can go the distance. 

But, I’ve learned that, eventually the real will always come out. 

I’ve had two friends while in school that people have completely warned me about but I ignored it and instead defended them because I wanted to base my reactions to them solely on my experiences. In hindsight, I completely wish that I would’ve listened to those people, but I didn’t, so I had to eat that loss.

I didn’t believe these things because people are so good at pretending to be things that they are not. They immitate the things that they see being attracted by others. They become so good at the facade that it’s undetectable to eyes that want to believe what they see.

But, I’ve seen that faking it gets exhaustive and they will eventually show their true colors. Some people don’t last a week, others take months, and one took years!  

 My advice to myself and others would simply be to jump ship as soon as the first sign becomes apparent. We’re so inclined to ignore the little signs because we’re enjoying the bigger moments, but trust me, cutting these people off early on is always best. 


So, there you have it! 2018 has taught me A LOT about people and how I should approach the next batch that I meet in life.

But, most of all, 2018 has taught me to look at situations from multiple angles: yes, losing a job will hurt, but there are so many benefits to it; yes, losing a ‘friend’ will hurt, but I’ve gained so many more who actually seem good; and, yes, loving someone is difficult, especially when you’re on completely different wavelengths as far as life is concerned, but opening your heart to someone has the never-ending benefit of showing you so much about yourself!

So for that, 2018, I thank you! 🎊🎊🎊