Predictable

XCIX: Love Doesn't Always Win!

We are raised with the fairy tale versions of love and romance. Disney tells us watered-down versions of tragic stories that somehow end in love and not the tragedy that they really ended in, and television shows sell us versions of life that simply don’t exist anymore.

THE REALITY IS…

Rarely do you end up with the love of your life. Rarely do you end up not regretting your ultimate choices. What we miss in all of the Disney stories and TV shows is the fact that reality is much different. When you fight and that loneliness kicks in, the vulnerability kicks in harder and mistakes are made.

When you think that there is no fix to your relationship — because who shows up at your window with a radio playing you guys’ song anymore and apologizing — you take the easy road and you quit because there’s always someone who is also alone who will “help you through your break up”.

Next thing you know, you’re married and regret everything. Love does not “always win” anymore.

RESPONSIBILITY, TIMING, EASE, AND COMFORT ARE THE REAL WINNERS!

Responsibility

Sometimes, doing the right thing is hard and it means hurting 1, 2, or 3 people to ‘be the bigger person’. Sometimes you have to lose everything in the name of being responsible. And sometimes you have to live out everyday knowing full-well what you’ve done and why you’ve done it — you’re stuck. Not in love, but in life…

Timing

The less time you have to spend actually hurting, reflecting and healing, the better, right? These days lazy is the default.

I mean, who wants to sit around and think about the hurt that they’ve caused or actually grow up when they can just scroll down social media or look around and find someone who also doesn’t want to be alone. Next thing you know, we’re calling a fling of convenience “heaven sent” and timing wins again.

Ease

Don’t even have me ramble on in this section, we all know that we are sliding, full force, into the time of ease. Whatever’s easiest is usually the choice for MANY people, and, I mean, in the age of everyone needing attention there are very few people making things anything other than easy.

Comfort

Comfort kills.

And the thing about it is that the first thing that many people say is that they live outside of their comfort zones. But, I guarantee that if you spend one month with them (and not even that long) you will soon see that their comfort zone is their home. It’s all they know. And they are only fooling themselves.

Comfort is what keeps a lot of people where they are. It keeps them for going for what they actually want. It keeps them from trying. It keeps them from being honest. It keeps them from bliss.

But, let them tell it, 🎶comfort don’t live here anymore🎶. Lies.

WITH THESE THINGS BEING THE FACTS OF OUR DAY…

I don’t know whether I’m in full support of leaving any and all situations when they aren’t right or fighting for what you have. I can tell you that I used to fully advocate for fighting for what’s yours, fighting for what you’ve worked at, fighting for “love”.

But…

These days, people are so selfish with their decisions that they really make you have to fight for something that you should have already had! They’re so selfish that they expect any and all of their bad actions to go unpunished. They’re so selfish…

These days, all relationships give me pause — friendships, dating relationships, significant others, etc., with the way a lot of people play, I’ve learned that this game/joke that they’ve made out of love is NOT FOR ME.

so, I DON’T KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS, BUT:

Don’t be their fallback plan.

Don’t be their second choice.

Don’t be the reason that they’re “stuck”.

Don’t be the one who makes your children suffer through a bad marriage just to keep a marriage.

Don’t be the one who ignores all of the signs.

Don’t believe that love won’t knock on your door again.

Don’t convince yourself that you don’t deserve more.

Check yourself.

Check your spouse/partner/bf/gf.

Be real with yourself.

Be real with others.

Keep your head up.

Don’t you ever forget that Love is a privilege reserved for the victor.
— Eli Pope

LXXX:... Would I Have Any Regrets?

Life is unpredictable, and I oftentimes wonder if I’d have any regrets should I reach my last day.

Have I done everything that I’ve wanted? Did I say everything that I needed to everyone in my life? Did I love as hard as I could? And do the people that I love, appreciate, and admire know that I love, appreciate and admire them? 

Would I regret the fact that I haven’t even made it through half of my Bucketlist? Would I regret the fact that I have never found my passion?


I’ve always made it a point to try and live the life that I want. I’ve always walked to the beat of my own drum, I’ve used myself as a gauge for my progress and growth, and I’ve given my all to my friendships and relationships.

These are the things that I take the most pride in. But would others know that I’ve done all that I could to be a force for good in their lives? Would they know that I did all that I could to be the best friend, love, cousin, sister, daughter that I could possibly be? Would they know?

Would I feel that I’ve done all that I could in this life? Would I be able to say that I’ve touched enough lives? Have I been a good love to someone? Have I been a disappointment to someone? I have no clue, but there are a couple of things that I do know. 🤔


In this life, I’ve:

I: Seen Paris

II: Fallen In Love With Washington D.C.

III: Had Love, Many Times

🙄, Let’s be real! I’ve loved many times but was it returned? Obviously not considering the way they all go.

The goal is always to love and be loved, but Let’s Be Real, as we move more towards an easy and selfish existence, finding love is getting to be more and more impossible. People are there for the easy and fun part of the ride but they are gone the second things become work —- and this is definitely not love.

So, I doubt that I’ve experienced a returned or even real love, but I have definitely loved someone and there’s no greater [or scarier] feeling. 💕

IV: Had Bestfriends Galore

V: Eaten A Ton

VI: Seen Seattle

VII: Walked Through Huge Trees and Beautiful Snow In Virginia

VA

VIII: Learned To Ride A Bike(Twice)/Longboard

Now, things with wheels, apart from cars, are obviously not for me, but I like getting out there and trying new things. And, who could’ve known that seeing new cities by bike or longboard could be so exciting?!

Now, things with wheels, apart from cars, are obviously not for me, but I like getting out there and trying new things. And, who could’ve known that seeing new cities by bike or longboard could be so exciting?!

IX: Been A Wrestler

X: Been/Am A Ballet Dancer

My secret love that no one gets to see me do. 😉  Sometimes you just need something that’s all yours.

My secret love that no one gets to see me do. 😉

Sometimes you just need something that’s all yours.

XI: Been To du mussée du Louvre

XII: Had Many Regrets

So many people that I regret associating with; so much love that I regret giving; and so much pain that I regret causing and so much pain that I regret giving my time. But, without any of these things, I wouldn’t have learned so many lessons.

I’ll keep the past regrets, but I’m definitely on a mission to do better ALWAYS.


This post is just a reminder to myself to always say what I feel, do what I want, and love as hard as I possibly can. A lot of things and people in this world have turned me off to love and friendship in general, but I know that my love is valuable, my friendship is one-of-a-kind, and I am hilarious to be around.

Those who have chosen to walk out of my life and/or treat me wrong have chosen to do so solely on their own. BUT I REFUSE TO LET THEM BE THE REASON THAT I LEAVE THIS WORLD WITH ANY REGRETS.

So, have I found my true love? No.

Have I effected the amount of change on this world that I set out to? No.

Have I found my passion yet? No.

But, have I traveled, loved, smiled, eaten, and been unapologetically me? Absolutely.

So basically, I would gladly leave this world with no regrets. I hope you all can say the same. 🖤