Television

XCIX: Love Doesn't Always Win!

We are raised with the fairy tale versions of love and romance. Disney tells us watered-down versions of tragic stories that somehow end in love and not the tragedy that they really ended in, and television shows sell us versions of life that simply don’t exist anymore.

THE REALITY IS…

Rarely do you end up with the love of your life. Rarely do you end up not regretting your ultimate choices. What we miss in all of the Disney stories and TV shows is the fact that reality is much different. When you fight and that loneliness kicks in, the vulnerability kicks in harder and mistakes are made.

When you think that there is no fix to your relationship — because who shows up at your window with a radio playing you guys’ song anymore and apologizing — you take the easy road and you quit because there’s always someone who is also alone who will “help you through your break up”.

Next thing you know, you’re married and regret everything. Love does not “always win” anymore.

RESPONSIBILITY, TIMING, EASE, AND COMFORT ARE THE REAL WINNERS!

Responsibility

Sometimes, doing the right thing is hard and it means hurting 1, 2, or 3 people to ‘be the bigger person’. Sometimes you have to lose everything in the name of being responsible. And sometimes you have to live out everyday knowing full-well what you’ve done and why you’ve done it — you’re stuck. Not in love, but in life…

Timing

The less time you have to spend actually hurting, reflecting and healing, the better, right? These days lazy is the default.

I mean, who wants to sit around and think about the hurt that they’ve caused or actually grow up when they can just scroll down social media or look around and find someone who also doesn’t want to be alone. Next thing you know, we’re calling a fling of convenience “heaven sent” and timing wins again.

Ease

Don’t even have me ramble on in this section, we all know that we are sliding, full force, into the time of ease. Whatever’s easiest is usually the choice for MANY people, and, I mean, in the age of everyone needing attention there are very few people making things anything other than easy.

Comfort

Comfort kills.

And the thing about it is that the first thing that many people say is that they live outside of their comfort zones. But, I guarantee that if you spend one month with them (and not even that long) you will soon see that their comfort zone is their home. It’s all they know. And they are only fooling themselves.

Comfort is what keeps a lot of people where they are. It keeps them for going for what they actually want. It keeps them from trying. It keeps them from being honest. It keeps them from bliss.

But, let them tell it, 🎶comfort don’t live here anymore🎶. Lies.

WITH THESE THINGS BEING THE FACTS OF OUR DAY…

I don’t know whether I’m in full support of leaving any and all situations when they aren’t right or fighting for what you have. I can tell you that I used to fully advocate for fighting for what’s yours, fighting for what you’ve worked at, fighting for “love”.

But…

These days, people are so selfish with their decisions that they really make you have to fight for something that you should have already had! They’re so selfish that they expect any and all of their bad actions to go unpunished. They’re so selfish…

These days, all relationships give me pause — friendships, dating relationships, significant others, etc., with the way a lot of people play, I’ve learned that this game/joke that they’ve made out of love is NOT FOR ME.

so, I DON’T KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS, BUT:

Don’t be their fallback plan.

Don’t be their second choice.

Don’t be the reason that they’re “stuck”.

Don’t be the one who makes your children suffer through a bad marriage just to keep a marriage.

Don’t be the one who ignores all of the signs.

Don’t believe that love won’t knock on your door again.

Don’t convince yourself that you don’t deserve more.

Check yourself.

Check your spouse/partner/bf/gf.

Be real with yourself.

Be real with others.

Keep your head up.

Don’t you ever forget that Love is a privilege reserved for the victor.
— Eli Pope

LXXIV: The Best Duos That The Television Has Ever Seen?

Maxine Shaw & Khadijah James 

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The Home-Girl for Life Type:

Now, if you know me at all, then you know that my favorite show of A L L T I M E is Living Single. Yes, the show that everyone else’s favorite show “Friends” copied. That’s the show.

Anyway, Khadijah is the main character played by none other than the Queen [Latifah] herself! And, the woman who is basically me but with a better body, Maxine Shaw [Attorney At Law] is played by the beautiful Erika Alexander (who deserves credit for life for her role as Max).

Their friendship throughout the five seasons of this show has been hilariously beautiful to watch. It is legitimately what I strive for in any friendship that I have: it has the loyalty, the honesty, the love, the appreciation, the laughter, that tears, and the realness that is definitely hard to find in people these days.

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Rocky & Apollo Creed

The Unexpected Motivator Type:

If you took a gander at my post on Creed II, then you know that a big part of why I love the Creed and Rocky movies has to do with the respect and love shown within the relationships between the characters.

Rocky and Adonis had a dope relationship filled with respect and admiration for each other. They were able to push each other to limits unknown, and to be there for each other through situations neither of them could have foreseen.

I love their relationship.

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Naruto & Sasuke   

The Aggressive Motivator Type:

First off, don’t judge me! I love Naruto to this day…

Second, Naruto and Sasuke HATED each other (and also loved each other), but this was a huge motivating factor for them to grow stronger. They challenged each other and grew just so that they could beat/kill each other.

What better friendship could there be?!

No, but really, I like these two because I am a firm believer in helping friends grow no matter what. I will not take on the responsibility of being someone’s friend just to leave them in the same (nor a worse) position that they were before they met me.

I definitely saw that same quality in the relationship between Naruto & Sasuke.

Zoey & Luca

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The Lit Love Type:

If this season of Grown•Ish doesn’t have your attention, then you just don’t want to know what does. Apart from the amazing hair styles and daring outfits, the issues that this show tackles in every episode are phenomenal (just like Black•ish). These writers and EPs do not sleep on the issues.

But, what I love most about Zoey and Luca is that their relationship is one of the more authentically depicted relationships on television. I like that Zoey gets insecure (all the time); I like that she compares her relationship to those that she sees around her (because that is real sometimes); I like that Luca literally rides for Zoey and thinks that she is the most “fire” person on that campus; and I love that they draw inspiration from and motivate each other.

What a R E A L B O N D.

Grace & Frankie

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#FriendshipGoals

Talk about opposites being brought together by a tragic situation and bonding, rebuilding and growing together!

Grace and Frankie are the epitome of friendship and loyalty. They accept each other for all of the things that make them different and unique. They’ve learned each other’s ticks and work around or with them. They’ve learned through fights and misunderstandings and their bond has become all the more stronger because of it.

I think that this is a show that I watch over and over simply because of the bond that these two created over the course of 5 seasons.