CXIII: What I've Learned, Thus Far, From 2019?
It’s that time of year AGAIN! Time to evaluate what the year’s past has taught me and this one is special because we are also closing out a decade and beginning a new one.
This past year, I feel like I needed a break and I must say that a lot can be learned in that silence. So, here’s what 2019 has taught me:
TAKE YOUR TIME & DO IT RIGHT
This can be applied in many ways. I’ve watched those around me rush into things like careers, relationships, and other mistakes that would only lead to downfall just because rushing seemed to be the easier or more convenient way.
With that, I chose to learn from their mistakes and took a vow to always take life at my own pace. In doing that, I’ve afforded myself a peace that I definitely did not have at the start of 2019 (or even the start of the decade!)
In addition to being more at peace, you are also given a sense of control that isn’t present when you feel as though you are being pressured into something. Type A personalities should jump at this chance to have an increased sense of control over their lives! I know I did. So, slow it down… Think it through… And,…
Take your time.
THERE IS NO GREATER GIFT TO GIVE THAN THE GIFT OF BEING YOU
Authenticity is very important to me.
I say it all of the time, I AM AND WILL REMAIN UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME, and I mean that. I am definitely not everyone’s cup of tea (and frankly, I don’t want to be), but to many people, I am the perfect blend. Most importantly, to ME, I am a beautiful blend of all that I have been through and all that I wish to become.
This lesson is simply to remind those who may have forgotten that:
Your biggest and best weapon against the clone army is that you are an original.
Spread that gift to the world! There are so many people in the world, but there is only one YOU.
DELAYED GRATIFICATION IS STILL GRATIFICATION
Nothing explains delayed gratification like getting a Juris Doctorate. I got my J.D. and then decided to take a little break before taking the Bar Exam which means that I added about a year from my graduation date to the date that I may potentially (and finally) be able to start my career.
This makes it feel as though I got a degree for no reason! I mainly started to feel this way because I feel as though I still live the life of a struggling, starving student which is not what you want for yourself when you can call yourself Doctor Somebody!
However, I want this post to be my constant reminder that delayed gratification (especially if I delay it on my own terms) is still gratification!
Nothing, at this point, can take away the fact that I did the work, got the degree(s), and am already working towards another. Today’s situation will not be my forever situation, so it’s okay to be happy about what I’ve accomplished thus far and not always focus on what’s left for me to do. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am always reaching for it. It would serve me best to just remember that!
DON’T BE AFRAID TO JUST WALK AWAY
This has been the year of putting on my walking shoes and swiftly walking away from people that I thought would be apart of my life for the duration of my life!
On its face, it seems like something so scary and so intimidating to do, but realistically, it is one of the most freeing things that I’ve done this year. This year was filled with evaluation! I looked at my circle, I looked at my career path, I looked at family, and I chose the areas that I needed to step away from and felt much better because of it.
Last year, I struggled so much in trying to decide if I should let go of someone just because I felt as though I needed that person to get through all that was going on in my life at that time. That was a very dangerous time for me that completely opened my eyes in the end! It is perfectly fine to walk away from those things that you think you need because what you need today may not be what’s good for you tomorrow.
Walk away and be better because of it!
LOG OFF!
I am the QUEEN of missing a text, call, or other notification and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My phone always feels like such a weight to me (even though I keep it on Do Not Disturb). It ties me to so many people, and although some ties are fine, too many of them can be toxic!
Some of my favorite times are spent completely disconnected. I thoroughly enjoy just being alone and listening to music or watching a movie without my phone, my laptop or any other device that someone can use to reach me.
Sometimes it is just great to be out of reach! Try it, I promise you’ll enjoy it! The alternative is an obsession-like-connection to whatever social media app you’re using for validation or whatever person you’re leaning on for affirmation.
Lean on yourself for about a week and I promise you’ll find the need to have your phone in your hand 24/7 will decrease. Allow yourself to be free!
IF YOU DROP YOUR FITNESS IT MAY BE TOUGH TO PICK IT BACK UP
This lesson hurts my heart because I have been ‘fit’ for a loooong time. Fitness has been a huge part of my identity since high school (maybe even before that). Last summer, I started to fall off of my fitness game and that kind of snow-balled into where we are now.
It’s very hard to feel like you’re starting over, especially with something like fitness, but restarts are also very necessary!
So my reoccurring lesson for 2020 will be to constantly restart my fitness journey so that I am always approaching my fitness plans with fresh and new eyes. I can’t get to new levels with my health and fitness if I continuously do the same thing! So, like how I approach my life, I need to continuously pivot when it comes to my fitness too.
SOMEONE ELSE’S HAPPILY EVER AFTER DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Take the pressure off!
You do not have to follow the steps that television and books lay out for you in life. You don’t have to be working in your ‘forever job’ by the time that you’re 25; you don’t have to marry the first thing that will agree to marry you just because you think marriage is the next logical step; you don’t have to have kids right now just because (literally) everyone else is!
Your happily ever after can look however you choose to shape it. Don’t let the pressures of this world tell you that you’re doing life wrong just because you’re not doing it like they are.
Build your own happily ever after. You’ll feel so much better with the end results when it’s YOU in the drivers seat of your own life.
This past decade has truly been a doozy. I feel as though I spent a lot of it gaining immensely in the realm of introspection (i.e. I’ve gotten to know loads about myself, what makes me tick, what I like, what I offer, who I am, etc.), but with that, I’ve also lost a lot of my ability to relate and communicate with others.
I’ve spent so much time with myself and to myself that social interactions are a bit shaky for me. So, I think this next year (and into this next decade) will be about finding a healthy balance and interacting more! So, get ready to see more of me going out, chatting it up and living it up (weird, I know)!
Lastly, I’d like to wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!
