Health

LXXXI: I Think I’ve Earned My Right To Not Be Okay With BS, Yes?

Someone asked that I write out this post so that I can get it all out and “feel better”.

I honestly do not believe that writing out this post will help me at all, but I do believe that it will help some of my close friends understand why I’ve been so distant.

I TEND TO DISTANCE MYSELF WHEN I’M AT A LOSS.

I am the type of person that believes that you can bring down other peoples’s mood with your mood, so I feel that, me feeling down daily will affect those around me. I, of course, do not like that. So, I distance myself. I don’t see the point in discussing the things that have gotten me down because it’s usually the case that, if I’m already at the point, then we’re past the time where something can be done about it.

A BIG PART OF THIS POST IS THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING!

I am done with everything.

I have worked my butt off for decades at everything and everyone in my life. Doors were closed in my face, and I’d pivot and open new doors. I was told no, and I’d lift my head and make a ‘yes’ out of it. I was given lemons, I always made lemonade. I was given dead flowers and I turned them into a backdrop.

But, I am tired.

For years I’ve picked myself up, I’ve been my own hero. I’ve been my own biggest fan. I’ve been my own cheerleader. I’ve fought. I’ve studied. I’ve learned. I’ve tried. BUT I AM DONE.

I’ve worked myself to a point of knowing, wholeheartedly, that I deserve a break. So, I’m taking one.

I’m tired of having to pick myself up after other people’s disappointments. I’m tired of being stuck with the thought and memories of people who have no thoughts and memories of me. I am tired of wanting better for people who do not even want better for themselves.

SUPERHERO OFF DUTY.

That's All Folks.gif

This superhero is now off duty. I do not want to be the strong Black woman who has it all together, who is always working her butt off at everything only to come second, and who gives her all to relationships only to end up not even knowing the person once it’s over.

For the time being, I am free.

There is very little that I care about and very little that I am going to do. Apart from studying and finishing up law school strong, I am done. I don’t care about anything. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to even talk to anyone. 🤷🏾‍♀️

BUT, WHY IS THIS OKAY?

In my opinion, this is okay because, the alternative is to lose my mind. I’d rather not allow the things and people of this world to make me insane. I’d rather do what I need to do to keep my sanity.

Realizing your limits is a very important thing. And person to person, those limits will look very different. For me, this is what it looks like when I’ve reached my limit. I literally have to throw my hands up regarding everything in my life and just let it all go.

I think that, as long as I explain to my readers why my content has been one-sided, and as long as I explain to my friends and family why I’ve been so distant then I’ve officially covered my bases and can begin to do what I need to do for me.

Luckily for my readers, I love blogging, so I will continue to blog, but apart from that, I’m off the grid. ✌🏾

LXVII: What I've Learned, Thus Far, From 2018?

Here we are! Another installment and another year of lessons!

I’ve changed things up this year and entered into it feeling a bit more liberated than I was in 2017. I had decided early on that I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted and try things. But, with that, I also opened myself up to people which is something that I normally steer very clear of.

Whenever you open up your heart, mind, and ears to new people, you’ll definitely be learning new lessons, however. Trust me!

So, here are a couple of the lessons that I’ve learned, thus far, this year:

STEER CLEAR OF THOSE WHO WANT YOUR RHYTHM BUT NOT YOUR BLUES

Wanting my rhythm and not my blues simply means that someone wants to be around me when I am happy and having fun, but when stuff hits the fan of life, they want to hit the road.

I’ve had this type of person in my life plenty-a-time!

The bad thing about me, however, is that when it comes to people who I have allowed into my life, I genuinely try my best to keep them.

BUT, sometimes in life you go through things, not to learn to work through them, but to learn to walk away from bad situations

This year has been one big lesson on walking away for me. It gets so lonely sometimes, but walking away from people who want to be around when all is well but leave when things get difficult is a very necessary reality. 

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

The way you view a situation says a lot about the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.

Now, I generally look at situations from a very realistic standpoint. I also use facts from the past that have created a pattern to assist with the way in which I view those situations. So, in short, when a situation presents itself, I’m an absolute realist through and through.

Now, this year has been filled with ups and downs, and I’ve worked at keeping my outlook on things upbeat enough to allow myself the ability to continue on in whatever direction I am attempting to go in life without letting things get me too down.

Changing my perspective on a lot of the things that have happened to me lately has seriously helped. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so necessary. A lot of times, perspective comes through in the form of a glass being half empty or a glass being half full. 2018 has taught me to look at things with the glass half full which has allowed me the opportunity to fill it the rest of the way on my own.

WHEN SOMETHING IS FOR YOU, IT WILL ALWAYS BECOME YOURS

This is super important for me to remember! 

I oftentimes work overtime to keep friendships and relationships with people who have never even deserved my time in the first place. It’s in my nature, however, to nurture those relationships...

BUT, when a relationship is for you, it will be yours without all of the tug-of-war! I forget this so much and it results in me making people feel way more needed than they actually are by trying to keep them in my life.

This is a habit, in me, that needs to be left in 2018. Because, trust me, you won’t be forcing the friendships and relationships that are meant to happen!  

BE REAL WITH EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES 

Now, first and foremost, you have to be real with yourself! But after that, you have to be real with everyone else.

I met someone this year who was such a gem! A beautiful soul inside and out. But, if you asked me, now, whether or not I still know this person, then my answer would honestly have to be ‘no’.

This person was so good at pretending to be the great person that I grew to very fondly enjoy, but [as you’ll read below] people can only pretend for so long (and sometimes for too long) before their true colors show.

It turns out that this person was a complete stranger to me when they showed me who they really were. What a shock!

I can see from that situation that it is, a lot of times, hard for some people to just be themselves which, to me, seems like it would be more work to pretend to be someone or something else. But, I digress, …

People usually teach me the biggest lessons and from this person, I’ve learned that you have to be super mindful of who and what you are. Remain true to yourself no matter the situation.

Real will attract real, but you have to weed through a lot of fake to get to it.

PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT PRETENDING — WATCH FOR SIGNS

I have made the mistake of underestimating the amount of time that people can live while being fake and, trust me, they can go the distance. 

But, I’ve learned that, eventually the real will always come out. 

I’ve had two friends while in school that people have completely warned me about but I ignored it and instead defended them because I wanted to base my reactions to them solely on my experiences. In hindsight, I completely wish that I would’ve listened to those people, but I didn’t, so I had to eat that loss.

I didn’t believe these things because people are so good at pretending to be things that they are not. They immitate the things that they see being attracted by others. They become so good at the facade that it’s undetectable to eyes that want to believe what they see.

But, I’ve seen that faking it gets exhaustive and they will eventually show their true colors. Some people don’t last a week, others take months, and one took years!  

 My advice to myself and others would simply be to jump ship as soon as the first sign becomes apparent. We’re so inclined to ignore the little signs because we’re enjoying the bigger moments, but trust me, cutting these people off early on is always best. 


So, there you have it! 2018 has taught me A LOT about people and how I should approach the next batch that I meet in life.

But, most of all, 2018 has taught me to look at situations from multiple angles: yes, losing a job will hurt, but there are so many benefits to it; yes, losing a ‘friend’ will hurt, but I’ve gained so many more who actually seem good; and, yes, loving someone is difficult, especially when you’re on completely different wavelengths as far as life is concerned, but opening your heart to someone has the never-ending benefit of showing you so much about yourself!

So for that, 2018, I thank you! 🎊🎊🎊

LXIII: How's Your Digestive System?

I surely hope that you all are digesting foods much better than I am!

I literally feel my food sitting, what feels like, on top of my tummy for hours while waiting for it to digest. This is one of the most uncomfortable feelings I’ve ever had. It keeps me awake feeling bloated and miserable for hours after eating which sucks because I like to go to the gym at night, and I also eat my biggest meals at night.

Thankfully, there are things that can be done and changes that can be made to assist my overworked digestive system:

Probiotics

  • Sometimes your body just needs a little assistance when it comes to processing which is where probiotics come in and save the day.

  • NatureMade Probiotics offer your body the “good” bacteria needed to process/break down your foods after big meals.

A Balanced Diet

  • These days, it’s hard to understand what it actually means to have a balanced diet, but…

  • A balanced diet is simply giving your body the essential: nutrients, fruits, veggies, carbs, proteins and grains for healthy functioning.

Exercise

  • We all know that diet and exercise go hand and hand, but…

  • Did you know that exercise actually helps with digestion?

  • When you’re fit, your digestive system is strengthened by your exercise which essentially takes some of its work-load off. Strengthening yourself by working out and staying fit actually strengthens your internal organs as well. That’s an added perk to working out that should be kept in mind.

Water

  • Hydration is always key!

  • We’ve heard it our whole lives, “Drink 8 glasses of water a day”, which, in all honestly should merely be a starting point!

  • Making water one of the only things you that you drink would be an excellent, but understandably difficult, life change. But, it is definitely one worth trying to make.

Multivitamins

  • Supplementing is, sometimes, the best way to go when you aren’t exactly sure what a balanced diet requires. Luckily for us, Target and Whole Foods have all the vitamins we could possibly need to assist in the areas that we may be lacking when it comes to fruits and vegetables.

Education

  • Although I can write a post and include as many little tidbits about digestive health as I can without boring you, nothing is better than sitting down and educating yourself on it!

LXII: Making The Changes?

I have been wanting to make little changes to my diet, my physical fitness and my overall foodie lifestyle for a while.

My main concerns are the amount of processed foods that I still consume and the intense amount of sugar that I eat. Honestly, it slows me down, creates unwanted lumps and breakouts, and will eventually lead to horrible health defects later in life.

So, in this post, I am sharing a couple of the changes that I’ve been living with for the past month which I hope will become a permanent lifestyle change for me.

Let’s start with where I’m currently at with my food choices:

I CURRENTLY DO NOT EAT:

  • Fast Food

  • Big named processed foods

  • Enough Veggies

  • Seafood - Fish as an alternative to meats

  • Berries

I CURRENTLY EAT TOO MUCH OF: 

  • Pasta

  • Bread

  • Sugar

  • Cheese/Dairy

  • Rice

THE Changes:

  1. Intermittent Fasting

    Intermittent fasting is exactly what it sounds like! It is not so much a diet as it is full scale monitoring of the periods of the day/night that you will consume food.

    My fasting starts at 7 pm and ends at 9 am. During that time, I do not eat anything at all. I drink a ton of water, however, which has only helped me since I didn’t drink enough water prior to my fast. And, when the morning hits, before my workout, I will have black coffee with a sweetener instead of sugar until 9 am where I usually have plain oatmeal with my choice of a fruit as a substitute for the usual sugar and butter that I would put in it.

  2. Big Diet Changes

    Changing my diet is hard for me. I love the foods that I love, so it’s just difficult to get to a point where I am eating exactly what I am supposed to be eating.

    But, I take it day-by-day, week-by-week, and month-by-month. And in that, I take weeks off from eating things like: rice, sugar, bread and pasta during the month so that I can get used to living without these things.

    The ultimate goal here is to get rid of the sugars, rice, and bread, so hopefully pacing it out will get me to that point.

  3. Exercise

    I’ve always been big on exercise simply because it keeps me calm and sane, and frankly, it’s fun for me.

    But, now I figure that since I’ve implemented little changes to my diet, that I could also vamp up my workouts!

    I currently work out twice a day (once in the morning and once at night). Some days, it’s just something to fill in the time that I am not eating and other days it’s just a getaway.

    If I were to say that I have current “body goals”, then, you know, my goal would be Beyoncé (DUH!). Now, we have different body types but she eats so clean and exercises creating such a perfect balance that she can literally sing and dance a full 2 hour set night after night.

    If I have any goal for my body or my fitness, then Beyoncé is it. That stamina. That perfect tone to her muscles. Everything! Just goals.

My goal here is basically to not kill myself early on by indulging in foods that will only result in disease after disease. I wanted to make little healthy changes that I can take with me throughout the rest of my life and not just to have for this moment in time. I am making real lifestyle changes here starting with these three things, and I’m excited!

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