CXXI: It's Not About You•Tom Rath (Book Review)
I’ve been slacking completely on my book reviews but I came across such a good read recently that writing about it would be a breeze.
So, here I am to share a couple of things about this book that caught my eye.
For starters, the book starts like this:
“Life is not about you. It’s about what you do for others. The faster you are able to get over yourself, the more you can do for the people who matter most.”
Throughout this whole book readers get a peek into what led Mr. Rath to writing such a book. We hear about his early battle with a rare disease and his close relationship to his grandfather.
These two things are what eventually helps him become more aware of his mortality which is a very important thing to be aware of given that it helps adjust the way we look at our lives, the things that we do with what time we have left, and our effect and legacy on the world that we’ll inevitably leave behind.
TO ME, THIS BOOK WAS:
A short but necessary reminder…
I used to live a life with the purpose of being of service to others. At some point that took a turn and I began to think that the best way that I could be of service to others was to first be of service to myself.
I told myself that I can’t help anyone from the bottom. And with that, I set out to create a name and a space for myself in this vast universe of future possibilities. However, I forgot one step that Mr. Rath lists as a precursor:
“You must put your mortality in clear view first.”
“It takes time to develop an outward focus. In far too many cases, people move into this mindset only when the end is in sight. It does not need to be that way. Anyone can learn about and develop an outward focus, starting early on in life.”
My mistake, as it applies to this book, was believing that I needed to be in the most perfect of spaces to effect the widespread change that I want to make in the world.
Reading this book, however, shines a bit of light on two things for me:
Life is short and like Mr. Rath says, I need to live life with the idea that I won’t be here forever (i.e. realize my mortality).
My life can and should be for more than just me.
“The more I have learned on this topic, the more strongly I believe it is not in anyone’s best interest to live like they have forever. When you view your time as finite, you build more life into each day.
Look through the lens of what will outlive you, and you’ll quickly see past self.”
Another reason that this book was really enjoyable for me was that it put into perspective what we, as humans, should put above other things.
This book mentions spending time with family and putting family first. These two things are staples in my life as I’ve always been and always will be a complete family person.
Specifically, I enjoyed mention of phones during family time and/or conversations with others. It’s called “The iPhone Effect":
“What the researchers essentially found is anytime a smartphone is visible, even if it is not ringing, buzzing, vibrating, or even powered on, it degrades the quality of the conversation for everyone.
In the cases where the phone was visible, participants had lower levels of empathetic concern and found the conversations less fulfilling.
The people who took their phones out were essentially saying, “This device comes before you and this conversation.””
Allowing a device to come before or be seen as more important than the person that you are speaking to should not be the message that you’re sending.
I know during these times that it is hard to untie yourself from your devices, but maybe thinking about the impact that your devices will have on the quality of your conversations and your relationships will help untether you from them.
Overall, this book was a good read filled with anecdotes and lessons that can shape your life if you’re willing to listen.