CXXXI: An Actual Introvert's Battle To Leave The House...

I think that this is an important post, because so many people forget that not everyone is into social experiences. Believe it or not, some people do not thrive while smiling in the faces of others. I am certainly one of those people.

I haven’t quite found the thing to blame this fact on: (1) maybe I just truly like my solitude; (2) at times I feel like I just have way too many things to accomplish that don’t require me being out and “having fun”; (3) I have way more fun when I just get to lay around, eat my favorite snacks and watch television; (4) I could just be a true introvert… I don’t know which of these it is, or if it changes on the daily, but I do know that I would usually much rather be where my belongings and my bed are than out and about (unless I’m on a beach or somewhere in nature)!

WHAT IS AN INTROVERT?

An introvert is a shy or reserved person. Generally, introverts prefer the less stimulating environments, and time alone to recharge is not just something cute being said, it is actually needed.

WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE FOR ME?

My experiences with being somewhat of an introvert are different. I would say that there are people out there who may not even be able to guess that I’m more reserved because, with them, I am super comfortable and outgoing. But, those people are honestly few and far between, the majority of the people that I know are fully aware of the facts that: (1) I’m not leaving the house; (2) I hate receiving notifications so I keep my phone on Do Not Disturb; (3) I don’t have to talk to you everyday, week, or month, but can still love and support you; and (4) that if you text me, you may have to wait anywhere between hours and days for a response.

These are not on purpose. They are not to be mean or malicious. They are not so that I can have piles and piles of notifications on my phone (because I actually hate having notifications or badges of any sort on my phone). These things happen because constant communication honestly makes me physically sick. This manifests itself in constant headaches, daily fatigue, and overall feeling “off”.

This may sound completely weird to those who are lucky enough to not have these experiences but they are people’s actual experiences nonetheless.

This is not to say that you should never reach out to people who are considered introverts, because you should always check on your circle, but this is just to hopefully show you that when dealing with an introvert, you should try to lighten their load a bit. Don’t get upset if they don’t want to meet you at the mall, or go out to eat. Don’t get mad when it takes a while for them to respond, etc. They could be dealing with their own fatigue associated with being more reserved.

HAVE I EVER BEEN AN EXTROVERT?

My guess is NO.

College and law school were the days where I was definitely more social because I joined clubs that were aligned with my interests like Black Student Union, Criminal Law Association, Black Law Student Association, Phi Alpha Delta, etc. But apart from the networking that you have to do in order to make it in certain professions, I was not voluntarily leaving the house!

I did have one friend who was slightly breaking me from my introverted ways and it was like I was watching myself blossom from the outside of a display case! I was actually proud of the fact that I would get up, leave the house, and go for coffee, food or drinks when she asked or randomly showed up at my apartment. She was definitely a little ray of sunshine that I possibly needed because I enjoyed being out of the house with her, but that cycle ended and I reverted back to being the homebody that I was before.

So, again, no. My guess is that the extroverted way of living is just not for me, and honestly, it seems tiring! I have no clue how or why most of you do it! I feel like I should have an extrovert guest post to experiment with these ideas, but I digress…

WHY ON EARTH DO YOU GUYS INVITE ME TO THINGS?

I ask, but I always appreciate being thought of when people are inviting me to events.

A lot of the times, they’ll preface the invite with “I know you’re probably busy” or “I know you’re not going to come but I’m going to invite you anyway”. Honestly, I love this because it shows that (1) they pay attention to me, and (2) they accept me the way I am and are still willing to keep that option open for me to attend!

So, keep the invites coming. I will definitely come out of hiding when I find that it’s been too long since I hung out with certain friends. A lot of my friends require that closeness and attention so, in attempting to be cautious of meeting their needs, I will forego my own and agree to hang out (and they do the same when they allow me to skip a bunch of meet-ups). It really has to be a give-give relationship when mixing introverts with extroverts but a good balance can be struck so work with it until it works for you.

THE BATTLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE

When those days come and I know that it’s been too long since I last hung out with a certain friend, I will agree to hang out with them, but it takes a couple of days to prepare myself to actually go.

Introverts literally have to battle with themselves when it comes time to leave their places of comfort. Either that or they feel nothing but dread leading up to leaving the house. I usually experience the latter and even talk myself out of going most of the time!

Either way, it’s a battle.

Hopefully, this post helps some of you get a better understanding of the introverts in your life. We are a delicate breed but too much fun to live without!
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