Excuse Me Whilst I Manifest
For the longest time, I’ve been on a singular journey to find what I want in my life. And for this portion of my journey, my focus has really been who I’ve wanted in my life.
I have been happily distancing myself from people (more than me just being my introverted, antisocial self) so that I can actually understand the type(s) of people that I should be surrounded by. Because this required extensive research and introspection on my part, it was often a difficult conversation to have with others. But, now my vision is clear in terms of who I want around me, so I’m ready to discuss:
WORK AWAY
I want to begin by discussing why this work had to happen outside of other people’s earshot…
For the past, 3-4 years I’ve felt as though I did not have someone around me who truly understood me. This made it quite difficult to have the full-blown, open and honest, candid conversations that I need to fill what little social cup I have for myself. Not only that, but I also require someone who matches my wit and sarcasm; someone who appreciates the depth of moments of silence; and someone who thinks similarly enough to me to not fall prey to all that’s appealing about the ease of accessing people today (and is not influenced by it at all).
In addition to this, I require someone whose peace of mind is peaceful to mine; whose work ethic and drive matches or motivates mine; someone with a creative side; and someone who thinks outside the box, puts in the work and perseveres.
Discussing the fact that I had found out all of these desires for myself with someone else would simply lead to them claiming that they do all of the above and/or think exactly the same way… The conversation goes nowhere.
That’s why finding exactly what I needed was something that I needed to do on my own and away from everyone else.
I had to do the work away to get to where I am today.
SHAME IN SAYING
In my opinion, it’s odd to manifest a person… like an entire person. Like I’m a magician hoping to make this fantastical being pop out of a hat or something...
But, that’s kind of how it is these days.
Not only should you do the work to know who/what you want and who/what you need, but you also have to constantly speak these things into existence, not because this makes them happen, but because the recency of having your wants, needs and desires at the forefront helps you in parsing out those who do not meet those wants, needs or desires.
I have always said that, “This generation struggles when it comes to finding their ‘person’, not because they’re not out there, but because they refused to actually wait for them and took who they found along the way instead.” I never wanted this to be my same story and have avoided this by keeping what I actually want in mind (not to say that I haven’t chosen terribly before… Lord knows that I have!). This is just to say that I am more conscious in my choices and I am certainly more conscious in my words.
In being this way, I can assure myself that I will: engage in meaningful conversations that feed my mind and soul; laugh uncontrollably and unabashedly; cry only out of fear of losing such good feelings; grow while away and while together; learn constantly; and finally breathe easier at the perfect pairing.
I am not ashamed in saying that I would change my tune and manifest that, but only that for myself.
This post isn’t an invitation to anyone but myself to open doors that I’ve long since closed and allow in what I know I deserve. With this, you’ll see no changes in my behaviors, no changes in what I post… The most important thing to know from this is that: