Self-love

XLIX: Self-Love in Steps... ? Yes!

Self-love is so important, as we all know! A big part of it that I forget, however, is the fact that:

SELF-LOVE IS AN ONGOING THING!

I often engage in activities and practices in self-love and then, for some reason, end up taking a break which results in me feeling down. Lately this feeling has come up at least once a week which is just TOO MUCH for me. So, this post is all about the Steps to keeping the Self-Love flowing!

STEP ONE: Take Time To Self Check!

When I initially started blogging, I published what I think is my best post yet on maintaining a mentally-healthy and a mentally-happy lifestyle.

This was an important post for me because I do believe that my thoughts and [maybe] my feelings keep me from being as happy as I could be. However, my Self Check post (click the link to read) laid out four steps to keep you in check if you begin to fall victim to the negative thoughts and feelings:

Step One: Acknowledgment

Step Two: Quick Disengagement

Step Three: Inward Reflection

Step Four: Application

Step One was all about acknowledging that your feelings are a bit out of whack. Sometimes, we get to wrapped up in all that we have going on that we forget to check on ourselves and our emotions. So, this was all about taking a tiny look inward so that we can fix what’s going on.

Step Two was about taking ourselves to a new space. This space will allow us to clear our minds and free our hearts so that we don’t continue to be bogged down by the same things.

Step Three was all about using our time away (from the Quick Disengage) to reflect on how we got to that negative space, talk ourselves through feelings that we don’t quite understand, and just be! This step is usually done alone.

Step Four was about applying this exercise to our daily lives. Once we get in the habit of the Self Check, it becomes more like second nature and THAT’S the goal.

We, essentially, want to master our emotions, reactions, feelings and thoughts.

STEP TWO: Stop & Do Things That Make YOU Happy.

I oftentimes forget that my school work and my job search will be waiting for me when I am done taking care of ME.

I act like I cannot leave my desk until I know all that there is to know (so, basically I’ll just die here), or like I have to find my Forever Career today or I’ll be a loser for life. But these thoughts are just that! They are concocted by our subconscious and do nothing but bring us down.

That’s why it is so important to do things that bring you joy! I, for instance, really enjoy eating, going to the movies, and photography. I am not one who finds it troubling to do things alone, so I actually enjoy solo trips to the movie theaters and to restaurants/bars to eat!

The only problem is, I don’t do these things often enough. So with this post, I’m going to make it a point to do things that make ME happy, more times per week.

Do not put a cap on your own happiness.

STEP THREE: Positive Affirmations.

Now, this is a new one for me!

This came about because it’s actually very much needed in my life right now. I’ve put myself in situations that haven’t left me feeling my best, so I have to bring myself out of this slump and into a happier place again.

Doing this is usually not as easy as we’d like for it to be, but it is so necessary. So, because it’s a bit harder this time around, for me, I’ve added a little positive affirmation mantra to my daily routine.

Now, the writer in me doesn’t allow me to stand in front of my reflection in a mirror and chant these things over and over. I get my positive affirmations out by taking a pen to some paper. So far, it’s been working!

You have to love you before expecting someone else to.

SteP Four: Take Life One Day, One Step, & One Problem At A Time.

So, I like Costco because you can buy in bulk, and I’ve found that this is the way that I usually want to solve my problems, IN BULK. But, life just doesn’t allow you to do that type of thing! It’s made so that you learn that you must address life issue by issue, day by day.

There will always be things going on, you will always feel like you’re running out of time, but this is usually when you’re trying to take life in chunks.

I am making it a point to approach issues in a much calmer manner, and definitely one at a time. In this I’m also taking the days as they come… One day, one step, & one problem at a time.

You will not master life, but you can master your Here & Now if you just take it slow.