Quality Time

LXXVII: Have I Called A Post 'Love' Yet?

If I were to choose a Love Language, then it would definitely be in line with Gifting. Not so much receiving gifts, but definitely giving gifts.

Because I am not as physically and verbally expressive as most, I tend to show affection, appreciation, love, and friendship via gifts instead.

FOR ACQUAINTANCES:

I’ve found that I am an odd breed of person because I don’t even have to know everything about you to think of you and get you a gift if I think that it is fitting for you.

There have been instances where I just met a person and in one of our conversations they mentioned that they were a huge fan of something random. And then one day I am in a store and see a trinket in line with that thing and I grab it for them!

That’s just me! Oddly enough, the people who have crossed my path these last couple of years obviously haven’t had giving people in their lives because, when it’s a gift to a guy, he thinks I’m proposing marriage, and when it’s a girl, she thinks I want to be her best-friend! And trust me, neither of these are ever the case.

For this, I feel so badly that they’ve never had a nice person in their lives and am always happy to be the first! But, I’ve also found that these are usually glimpses into more narcissistic or egotistic character traits that I do not need to align myself with, so I let these people pass me by — gift or no gift.

But lucky for them, they were a thought at some point! Making someone feel special is something that brings a joy unlike any other type of joy, especially to me. Give it a try sometime in whatever your Love Language may be.

For Friends:

The majority of my friends receive gifts like random flowers, tickets to things, gift cards or food.

To me, food is a bond and when I can share that bond with others, then I usually can tell that we’ve crossed that boundary into actual friendship. But, I always say, if I can’t even eat in front of you, DO NOT THINK THAT WE ARE FRIENDS, PERIOD.

In my opinion, friends receive the second best gifts that I give (coming second to family). They get the gifts that show my appreciation for their long-lasting presence in my life, their honesty, their loyalty, and their patience in dealing with me (because I am WORK).

I love and appreciate the friends that have stuck by me and I make it a point to show them.

For Dates/More-Than-Friends, but Less-Than-Lovers/and Lovers:

These gifts are usually more sentimental and I certainly put more thought into them.

Because I am naturally a “gifter”, when getting a gift for someone who is working his way into my heart, I definitely spend a good amount of time reflecting on our relationship up to that point before deciding on the appropriate gift. I think back on past conversations about our goals, wants and needs. I think to things that have affected him and I think to things that he’s said to me. But most of all, because a sense of humor is a must when being around me, I think back to things that have made us laugh uncontrollably. These things usually help me most in putting together gifts.

Over the past five years, I’ve put serious thought into gifts for guys twice! This should give you an idea of how rare it is that I even let someone get close enough to care about getting them anything “special”.

Again, I am not affectionate in many ways, but gifting is kind of my thing. Lucky is the man who convinces me to love em’ (& deeply troubled, let’s face it, I’m a handful)!

Now, it’s your turn, what’s your love language?

  1. Gifts — Receiving gifts

  2. Quality Time

  3. Words of Affirmation

  4. Acts of Service — “Actions Speak Louder Than Words”

  5. Physical Touch