LIV: Why Am I So Afraid Of My Favorite Season (The Holiday Season)?

I love the holidays so much.

But, I have such a fear of spending the holidays alone. I can’t tell you why I have this fear since every year (especially while in a relationship), I end up on my couch, drinking wine and watching Eloise At The Plaza or Les Miserables completely alone.

The hopeless romantic in me starts picturing it differently every year starting before Halloween, and here’s what the hopelessly romantic Bree creates:

Given that I normally travel during the holidays, I picture myself and my spouse in a different city where there’s a brisk chill and lots of layers.

We run out into the rain, or snow, to stock up on movie snacks, hot cocoa/tea and movies that can be enjoyed together in our matching PJs.

Of course the hotel that we’re staying at has an amazing view of some of the most beautiful Christmas lights you’ll ever see, so we have the curtains drawn on the big beautiful windows.

We cozy up on the couch nearest the window in our PJs and house shoes, cups in hand and just look gratefully into each others eyes. Happy to spend such an important day with each other… Feeling like, even if it isn’t so, we are everything that we need…

That night is full of laughs, warmth, cuddles, food and love… That’s what I imagine for the holidays.

But, let’s do an expectations vs. reality deal here! My expectation looks GREAT for the older, more settled in version of Bree (after elevating my circle, settling comfortably into a job that I love, and a bit of solo travel)!

My reality each year usually isn’t anything like this however. Even when I was in a relationship during the holiday season, my significant other was either overseas in the military (good excuse) or, for other exes, somewhere being selfish and cheating (not gonna lie). This could have easily created another reason why I fear my favorite season altogether (you know, it being a constant reminder of my life’s patterns...), but I digress…

Luckily for me, I usually get the chance to celebrate early with my family alongside my 4 brothers and sisters! Do you know how many cuddles you can get when you have that many siblings! 

So I may not have experienced my perfect ‘The Holiday’ Holiday, but I usually have a great one anyway, so bring on my favorite time of year!

  *Stock Image Used*