LVII: Practice Makes Imperfect...?

I AM NOT PERFECT, BUT I AM LEARNING.

I learn a lot from the people who I allow into my life.  Whether it be a good experience or a bad experience, I learn a lot.

So, this post is about a couple of the things that I have learned this year that I truly appreciate having had the opportunity to learn. 

THERE IS GOOD OUT THERE. 

So, I have an old co-worker, Josh, and I used to always walk by his office, bug him with dumb questions about his life and law, and pretty much just be annoying to him. 

Oddly enough, he took to my annoying ways and has become a good friend and person in my life.  

The part that shocks me the most is that he didn’t have to do this. But, I am glad that he did.

I have another friend, Ken, who I met when I first decided to apply to law school. He was this bright, beautiful souled person that constantly made me laugh and is geniunely caring. 

He listens, he cares and he gives the advice that no one else will. He’s REAL! Simply put. 

Having met people like the two just mentioned still shocks me. There  are  good people out there, and I know I shouldn’t be this shocked, but I am!  

These two give me hope. And I’m grateful to have that glimmer of hope that reminds me not to give up on people. 

SOME FRIENDS ARE REAL. 

Alicia is this fun-sized, adorably sweet, giving, caring, nurturing, dog-loving woman who I am blessed enough to call a friend. 

Over the years, we have refined our relationship and she’s shown me time and time again what it means to be a friend and what it means to have a friend. 

I’m often shocked by who she is and how she is, and it’s great. I aspire to be as good a friend as she is. 

Another great is Faith. I mean, have you ever met someone who was just like you but cooler? That’s Faith and I! 

He is this very quiet, but very outspoken, cool-dressing trendsetter who makes me laugh and hates juice! The joy that I feel just seeing him is insane. He is someone who I vibe with anywhere and anytime. I mean, I took him on his first trip to IKEA! We are forever bonded and he is forever a great friend.

YOU CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING. 

My biggest problem (apart from communication) is that I try to have control over every situation. 

I try to prevent situations from causing me pain by micro-managing them. I try to shape situations by grabbing them by the reins and controlling the direction of them.  

BUT, my friendship with Andre has taught me that you cannot control everything and you cannot control anyone. 

I often fear just letting situations play out because I believe that they will always end in the worst ways. Again, the realist in me forces me to follow the patterns of my life, like, it’s all that makes sense to me. If things have gone one way in the past, then they will go that way in the future. 

What an unhealthy way of thinking right? I KNOW! I’m learning, guys!  

This lesson is a tough one for me because it’s something like a two-fer! With learning that I cannot attempt to control, I also have to learn how to STOP TRYING TO CONTROL.

I have started this horrible habit out of complete fear from my past experiences. But now, after learning that I can lose people over this, I just want to forever rid myself of this need to control things.

I am no perfect person, perfect friend, perfect lover, or perfect example. But, I am practicing… I am practicing different ways to be a great friend. I am practicing ways to let go of my need to control. I am practicing seeing the good in all people.

I know that I will never perfect this, but I do plan on working on it.

So, in me, watch practice make imperfect.

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