CVII: Y’all Need To Adopt Some Dealbreakers!

Set limits and keep them.

It scares me that a lot of people will carry and create burdens that they do not need to. 2019 has been thee year of burdens for me, so I actively avoid situations that will cause me to break. But, in my opinion, a big part of avoiding the breaking points and burdens is to establish some hard-line dealbreakers!

DEALBREAKERS ARE:

… Basically solid lines that cannot be crossed. In many situations, if those lines are crossed, then that thing (whatever it is) is over.

Dealbreakers are important! They are important in friendships, relationships, jobs, homes, etc. Set boundaries people! They will significantly help you with your mental health and overall wellness. If you just let people walk all over your nerves every waking moment, then I guarantee you that it won’t be long before you completely lose it.

I have dealbreakers in just about every situation, but you can blame that on the fact that I have very short nerves and even shorter patience. Here are a couple just in case you need a chuckle:

DEALBREAKERS IN MY CAR:

  1. Don’t touch my radio:

    My music collection is vast and definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but, when you get into my vehicle, you are signing up for my music.
    My best advice to you would be to sit back, relax, and listen to the lyrics! I’m sure you’ll end up loving whatever I’m listening to.

  2. People who have full blown conversations on the phone once they get into my car:

    It’s not often that I sign up to be around other people, so, when I do I really don’t want to be there to hear you talking to someone else.
    It may be old school or weird, but it’s also conscious and considerate. Hang up the phone, let them know you’ll call them back, and either have a conversation with me or enjoy my music.

DEALBREAKERS AT HOME:

  1. When someone else parks in my parking spot:

    Even when there’s no assigned parking, people are routine enough to continuously park in the same spot. Eventually, you notice and it becomes their parking spot. Don’t mess with the status quo! Get with the parking program and quit parking in other people’s parking spots!

  2. Company:

    Space, peace and quiet, and honesty are some of my best friends! So, when I have roommates who basically invite other roommates to stay for a week or a weekend, it’s honestly awful.

    The problems mostly become (1) the fact that there is now a stranger in the house and not only is this stranger around my belongings, he/she is also around me. Now a lot of people are very lax with their personal safety. They’ll trust literally anyone to come into their home and stay if it means them not being alone. I’m not so trusting however, keep them away from me and my things. (2) Also, this world is crazy. I see that many of you continuously trust any and ever stranger, but I DO NOT. Allowing a stranger into my space is uncomfortable, so I usually just avoid company for the most part (even in my attempt to be minimally social).

DEALBREAKERS IN FRIENDSHIPS/RELATIONSHIPS:

  1. Lies.

    Now, people find it very hard to avoid lying, so I usually give them the benefit of the doubt, but that only goes so far.

    I’m much less inclined to forgive a lie when it is unnecessary because that usually means that that person will lie about anything! Also, repeat offenders get no love from me. If you can’t live without lying then our paths simply do not need to cross—ever!

  2. Off-putting Character Traits:

    So many times, if you just pay attention while getting to know someone, you can catch oddities or annoyances about a person long before you run off and marry them.

    Yes, I know that this would require you to actually think it through and that just about kills a lot of people! But I promise it will be worth it in the long run.
    Some people lay the traits out as plain as day: they lie constantly, they disappear, they’re narcissistic, they’re desperate or rushing in, they pin blame on everyone but themselves, etc. There could be so many red flags that you can catch if only you slow down and open your heart-shaped eyes!

    But you won’t because that’d be too much like right. HOWEVER, I do! I actively pay attention to the signs and get out when necessary (and the one time that I didn’t, I greatly regretted it).

  3. Rushing in:

    It is completely OKAY to not know someone. And, it’s even more ‘okay’ to just spend time getting to know someone.
    It is not okay, however, to force situations that simply should not be.
    When you have to guess something as simple as their favorite color, birthday or job just to save face in front of the friends that you’re bragging to, then you probably don’t know this person. AND THESE ARE VERY BASIC LEVEL CONVERSATIONS. If you’re missing those, imagine the big ones that you’re missing.

    But no, it’s much more appealing to jump into something just to be able to say that you have something, right?
    Rushing in is honestly a huge sign of (1) desperation; (2) someone hopping from situation to situation instead of processing the damage; or (3) the beginning of a very disappointing and lacking relationship.
    I promise you guys that you won’t die if you take time to be alone and really get to know yourself. I promise, you will survive that and you’ll be better because of it! Try it!

  4. People who are not self-aware:

    Now being self-aware applies to many areas and many things, so it won’t just look one way. BUT, it’s way more apparent that someone is NOT self-aware than anything else.

    I won’t go into huge details on this because there will be a separate post on this topic alone, but it definitely had to be listed!

So, these are a couple of my dealbreakers. My hope is that, if you don’t have any, you adopt some!


BE SURE TO CHECK OUT OTHER POSTS WHILE YOU’RE HERE:

  • For Growth, click here

  • For a little post on Love, click here

  • For my review of Mented Cosmetics, click here

  • For a bit on a chance meeting, click here