Holidays

LXVII: What I've Learned, Thus Far, From 2018?

Here we are! Another installment and another year of lessons!

I’ve changed things up this year and entered into it feeling a bit more liberated than I was in 2017. I had decided early on that I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted and try things. But, with that, I also opened myself up to people which is something that I normally steer very clear of.

Whenever you open up your heart, mind, and ears to new people, you’ll definitely be learning new lessons, however. Trust me!

So, here are a couple of the lessons that I’ve learned, thus far, this year:

STEER CLEAR OF THOSE WHO WANT YOUR RHYTHM BUT NOT YOUR BLUES

Wanting my rhythm and not my blues simply means that someone wants to be around me when I am happy and having fun, but when stuff hits the fan of life, they want to hit the road.

I’ve had this type of person in my life plenty-a-time!

The bad thing about me, however, is that when it comes to people who I have allowed into my life, I genuinely try my best to keep them.

BUT, sometimes in life you go through things, not to learn to work through them, but to learn to walk away from bad situations

This year has been one big lesson on walking away for me. It gets so lonely sometimes, but walking away from people who want to be around when all is well but leave when things get difficult is a very necessary reality. 

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

The way you view a situation says a lot about the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.

Now, I generally look at situations from a very realistic standpoint. I also use facts from the past that have created a pattern to assist with the way in which I view those situations. So, in short, when a situation presents itself, I’m an absolute realist through and through.

Now, this year has been filled with ups and downs, and I’ve worked at keeping my outlook on things upbeat enough to allow myself the ability to continue on in whatever direction I am attempting to go in life without letting things get me too down.

Changing my perspective on a lot of the things that have happened to me lately has seriously helped. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so necessary. A lot of times, perspective comes through in the form of a glass being half empty or a glass being half full. 2018 has taught me to look at things with the glass half full which has allowed me the opportunity to fill it the rest of the way on my own.

WHEN SOMETHING IS FOR YOU, IT WILL ALWAYS BECOME YOURS

This is super important for me to remember! 

I oftentimes work overtime to keep friendships and relationships with people who have never even deserved my time in the first place. It’s in my nature, however, to nurture those relationships...

BUT, when a relationship is for you, it will be yours without all of the tug-of-war! I forget this so much and it results in me making people feel way more needed than they actually are by trying to keep them in my life.

This is a habit, in me, that needs to be left in 2018. Because, trust me, you won’t be forcing the friendships and relationships that are meant to happen!  

BE REAL WITH EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES 

Now, first and foremost, you have to be real with yourself! But after that, you have to be real with everyone else.

I met someone this year who was such a gem! A beautiful soul inside and out. But, if you asked me, now, whether or not I still know this person, then my answer would honestly have to be ‘no’.

This person was so good at pretending to be the great person that I grew to very fondly enjoy, but [as you’ll read below] people can only pretend for so long (and sometimes for too long) before their true colors show.

It turns out that this person was a complete stranger to me when they showed me who they really were. What a shock!

I can see from that situation that it is, a lot of times, hard for some people to just be themselves which, to me, seems like it would be more work to pretend to be someone or something else. But, I digress, …

People usually teach me the biggest lessons and from this person, I’ve learned that you have to be super mindful of who and what you are. Remain true to yourself no matter the situation.

Real will attract real, but you have to weed through a lot of fake to get to it.

PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT PRETENDING — WATCH FOR SIGNS

I have made the mistake of underestimating the amount of time that people can live while being fake and, trust me, they can go the distance. 

But, I’ve learned that, eventually the real will always come out. 

I’ve had two friends while in school that people have completely warned me about but I ignored it and instead defended them because I wanted to base my reactions to them solely on my experiences. In hindsight, I completely wish that I would’ve listened to those people, but I didn’t, so I had to eat that loss.

I didn’t believe these things because people are so good at pretending to be things that they are not. They immitate the things that they see being attracted by others. They become so good at the facade that it’s undetectable to eyes that want to believe what they see.

But, I’ve seen that faking it gets exhaustive and they will eventually show their true colors. Some people don’t last a week, others take months, and one took years!  

 My advice to myself and others would simply be to jump ship as soon as the first sign becomes apparent. We’re so inclined to ignore the little signs because we’re enjoying the bigger moments, but trust me, cutting these people off early on is always best. 


So, there you have it! 2018 has taught me A LOT about people and how I should approach the next batch that I meet in life.

But, most of all, 2018 has taught me to look at situations from multiple angles: yes, losing a job will hurt, but there are so many benefits to it; yes, losing a ‘friend’ will hurt, but I’ve gained so many more who actually seem good; and, yes, loving someone is difficult, especially when you’re on completely different wavelengths as far as life is concerned, but opening your heart to someone has the never-ending benefit of showing you so much about yourself!

So for that, 2018, I thank you! 🎊🎊🎊

LIX: Bree's Christmas List! (2018 Edition)

Christmas is coming for us all! 🎄

There are Christmas decorations everywhere, Starbucks has slapped us in the face with these red cups, Mariah Carey is screaming at us about what she wants for Christmas, and for some reason my bank account isn’t what it used to be…

But, with my favorite holiday just around the corner, I figured I’d throw more Christmas at you lovely readers by posting my Christmas list!

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  1.  I really want an Air Fryer!

    These gems were on sale on Thanksgiving but I couldn’t bring myself to buy it. Funny thing is, if it were for someone else, I would have bought it without hesitation, but for me, neh.

  2. A Necklace/Ring.

    So, I love jewelry, and I especially love jewelry during the holidays because it is always on such a big sale. I normally snag a beautiful ring or two from JCPenney because they have a good line of fashion jewelry with small, cute diamonds. But, I am also into Mantrabands (No! Not because I am an Ambassador).

    I just like constant reminders that I am worthy, or beautiful, or other little motivating lines. You need that in this life for sure… & Jewelry is great at accomplishing this!

  3. Eloise At The Plaza or Eloise at Christmastime (DVD) — So, these are my go-to Christmas movies. I legit watch them every year around the holiday season, but somehow, I don’t have either of them on DVD. I Just catch them on television whenever they air, so I finally want these movies on DVD.

  4. Beats Headphones. Unfortunately, my Beats are on their last leg.

    I got them as a Christmas gift about 3 years ago and I’ve loved them! They have definitely helped me avoid so many conversations and interactions and, for that, I’m so grateful.

    I also need them for my workouts. And, I mean, I listen to music pretty much all day (on days that I can) and it keeps me sane. Beats just make the experience so much better because I love loud music with bass! 

  5. A Yankee Candle.

    So, I LOVE lighting candles in my apartment and just chilling in the living room.

    I think that Yankee Candles are so good  for the holidays (and really any day) and they are so beautifully packaged that they even serve as a nice decoration as well.

     

    Bonus gift for Bree:

  6. And, honestly Santa, or whoever is listening, I just want more good people in my life. People that I can learn from and also teach. People who will go that extra mile to stay in my life. People who care. People who are open to actually loving people. People who bring joy to my life, whose life I can bring joy to as well. And most of all, people who take the time to understand me. I am so tired of being misunderstood.

    I just want good people to go through this crazy life with… So, hopefully, the energy that I put out will be the energy that I receive because, on this new wave, I just need “all of the good things” in Jhene Aiko’s voice.  

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So there you have it!

These are a couple of the things that I want for Christmas and, honestly, I felt like a kid again writing out a Christmas list!

Feel free to drop a couple of your Christmas wishes below!

Happy December!