LXX: The Woman - Body Positivity!

So many women struggle with embracing and loving their own bodies as they are. 

They want to change or alter what always was; they want to inflate, carve out, or add to areas that, in their minds, enhance the shallow idea of “beauty” in today’s world; and, to obtain all of this, they tear their bodies down and overcompensate with chemicals, injections and dietary products.

I completely understand seeing women in the media with perfect Coke bottle shapes, small waists, big butts, & hips for days. Or the complete opposite end of the spectrum where the women are super small, with a wide leg gap, ribs that show and legs for days. Yes, these may look appealing in photographs but are also accompanied by very unhealthy ends to get, keep and maintain this image.

Body Positivity is so important in these days. It is simply being comfortable and confident in the very skin that you are in. Not striving to change. Not striving to alter. Just being completely happy with who and what you are.

A big part of body positivity is understanding your body type:

There are many charts out there that help you understand the different body types so that you can find out which body type you have.

This is a shortened version of a body type chart. These are the five basics and, of course, there are many more variations of these core groups of body types.  I am honestly a mixture of 1, 2, & 4. The fact that I have no hips makes me a dead ringer for the squared proportions in number 1. My broad shoulders place me happily into number 2. And the fact that I have buns and thighs are my only saving grace for leveling myself out and leaning me more towards a number 4.  Now, in fully understanding what my body looks like, I can pretty much see what limits I can push my body to.  But, another important component here is understanding where your meals show the most. My food legitimately goes to my thighs and my stomach areas. So, I am sure to keep cardio a constant in my workouts in order to maintain. This is another important aspect of understanding your body type (knowing where you food shows most). Just saying…  It’s all about knowing your body.

This is a shortened version of a body type chart. These are the five basics and, of course, there are many more variations of these core groups of body types.

I am honestly a mixture of 1, 2, & 4. The fact that I have no hips makes me a dead ringer for the squared proportions in number 1. My broad shoulders place me happily into number 2. And the fact that I have buns and thighs are my only saving grace for leveling myself out and leaning me more towards a number 4.

Now, in fully understanding what my body looks like, I can pretty much see what limits I can push my body to.

But, another important component here is understanding where your meals show the most. My food legitimately goes to my thighs and my stomach areas. So, I am sure to keep cardio a constant in my workouts in order to maintain. This is another important aspect of understanding your body type (knowing where you food shows most). Just saying…

It’s all about knowing your body.

After you understand, You Have to act like you understand:

A scary thing that I see women doing these days is taking drastic measures to change their body types. There was a huge surge in the purchases of waist trainers when Kim K and her clan of siblings started doing promo for them.

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The companies that profit from the sales of these waist trainers then began to take it to extreme levels by adding components to the waist trainers that add more of a SQUEEZE to the women starting at her ribcage and ending at her waistline.

Once Kim posted with this super tight waist trainer on, women all over started getting tighter and tighter waist trainers until they decided to just say ‘Forget it! Take some ribs out!’

Before you know it, there are millions of women scraping together pennies to get botched surgeries, dieting in all of the wrong ways, and trying anything possible to look like women who paid big money for the bodies that they are rocking in the first place (i.e. all Kardashian/Jenner except Kendall and Kourtney).

There are so many positive and healthy changes that can be made to ones body with a proper diet and exercise. But, it starts with being comfortable with who you are and with what you have.

Sidebar, but of equal importance:

Self-esteem is lacking largely in the women community of social media these days(hence the reason you see all of these girls twerking down your timelines and half naked in bathroom mirrors). Body positivity is a move in a positive direction pertaining to self-esteem and self-love that all women should be striving to adopt [and if not body positivity, then maybe self respect].

We all have problem areas, but choose to love yours!

I completely hate the fact that I have no hips and a substantial hip dip. It also doesn’t help that I let myself grow a muffin top last summer which is still peaking its little head through at any chance.

This has completely distorted whatever shape I had potential to have! And, although I am working on getting rid of my babytop and these hip dips, I still completely love my body! I still do not wish that I had any other shape or size, and I didn’t need a Kardashian-like “workout” (i.e. surgery), or Instagram tea to get here!

Loving yourself is literally the key to all types of prosperity. Start with loving who you see when you look in your mirror.

Disclaimer: The Kardashian/Jenner’s are the focus of this post because they’re clearly the most self conscious and yet self-absorbed social media personalities who have built a career on sex tapes, scandal, lies, plastic surgeries, and objectifying & fetishizing Black men all while influencing all ye young impressionable minds who worship them — thereby leading to your own self-loathing and body shaming.

I, in no way, support the Kardashians or the Jenners. They are just the perfect example of why a lot of girls are taking extreme measures to change their bodies.

LXIX: Blogs To Be On The Lookout For?

Oh Hay, 2019! Let’s start the year off right by loving on some bloggers, authors and content creators!

A big part of blogging is engaging with the blogging community, so why not do a Tag Post!

In this post, I’ll share a couple of blogs by bloggers that I came across on Twitter (⬅️Click the Link to find and follow me). I will try my best to sort them by their focus areas, but excuse me if I miss the mark a bit — a lot of the following bloggers specialize in many areas.

Let’s dive in:

 

AUTHORS

The Colonel & The Bee   By: Patrick Canning  Website:  https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

The Colonel & The Bee

By: Patrick Canning

Website: https://www.patrickcanningbooks.com/

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key   By: Katie Masters  Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

Brenna Morgan & The Iron Key

By: Katie Masters

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Katie_Masters29

These particular book bloggers and authors feature either chapter books, or reviews of books to their sites for readers to enjoy. As a book blogger myself, I love the set up of these bloggers’ sites and content! Check them out by clicking below:

https://readitbyroma.wordpress.com/

http://dhawaljoshi.in

 

BEAUTY BLOGGERS

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Beauty that Walks is a lifestyle, hair, make-up, product review and fashion blog that I, personally, love!

It is run by Editor-and-Chief, Tione Rodney, a student studying Business Administration at the University of the Virgin Islands.

If the natural hair help isn’t enough to get you hooked on her site, then maybe the wide range of posts will. Ms. Rodney clearly does not play when it comes to blogging and I can fully appreciate her range of knowledge.

Don’t believe me, check her out for yourself!


https://www.beautythatwalks.com/

 

FASHION BLOGGERS

If you are into bright, beautiful & fashion-forward bloggers, then you have to check out Marie’s Blog at whatcorrinedid.com

Here’s a snippet, but I promise you, her page is one you don’t want to pass up! Check her out!

 

LIFESTYLE BLOGGERS

Lifestyle blogs range in variety, we have all things haunted with Medium, Kristi at Haunted History Jaunts with Kristi; or, if you’re not into that, then maybe you’re into enjoying a laugh or two with Philomath who posts funny lifestyle posts to Querianson!

But, if that’s not your speed, then check out what life is like with an invisible mental illness and how it changes your outlook on life with everyone’s favorite Fibro Mom, Suzanne at FibroMomBlog. Or, if you’re curious about a disability that is more noticeable and also very common, then check out Holly’s blog Life of a Blind Girl (a blog that I can definitely relate to)!

A lot of times, bloggers mix mental health into their lifestyle blogs (which I personally love) and of those bloggers, you have to check out Randomly Creative run by Yvonne Wabai, or by Milli on Poised Prodigy.

Maybe you need a bit of uplifting? Check out The Curious Sedulous, a new blogger with tips on beating procrastination and taking yourself from mediocre to productive AF.

Another new blogger worth checking out is Chevany at Chevy Takes The Mic!

Finally, for all things life and law school check out the lovely Corina’s blog Corina’s Corner!

Curtesy of Corina of   Corina’s Corner  !

Curtesy of Corina of Corina’s Corner!

 

FOODIE BLOGGERS

Bites n’ Pieces is a foodie’s stop-shop!

Check out this website for fun and exciting recipes and cutesy lifestyle posts!

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Thanks for reading, clicking and engaging! Content creators, you’re doing wonderful work! Check out someone else’s and spread the love!

•Bree

Let’s Be Breef

LXVIII: Movie Theater Etiquette 101

I go to the movies a lot which means that I see and experience a lot in that setting. I wish I could say that all (or most) of my experiences were pleasant, but the great majority of them are not.

But, have no fear! I’ve written out a couple of tips to help those who struggle when emerging from their homes and traveling to the cinemas:

PARENTS, THE MOVIE THEATER IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOUR NEWBORN!

I’ve been to the movies too many times and had my experience negatively altered by the family who decided to bring either a newborn or a toddler to an R rated movie.

Now, it is completely up to you to decide how you will parent and what content you will allow your children to see and indulge in, but please keep in mind the fact that you did not pay for every seat in the theater. Other people paid to be there as well, so when your newborn screams, we all hear it and when your toddler decides that the movie is boring and that he/she should instead start a conversation about Bubble Guppies, we hear that too.

Please be considerate of other movie-goers.

TWEENS, DRINK LESS AND HOLD OFF ON THE BATHROOM SELFIES!

It never fails, if i go to the movies at night on a weekend, it is inevitably filled with high school students. Now, as a sheltered teen, I am all for y’alls liberation, but when it infringes on my good time is when I start to have a problem with it.

The movie will legitimately be an hour and thirty minutes and y’all get up to leave the theater 4 times. You’re either sipping too hard on that Coke or you’re busy sending selfies from the movie theater rest room. I promise the lighting is better at home in your bathroom so just wait until you’re there.

Thanks.

CHILDREN & ADULTS, I DID NOT PAY TO SEE YOUR PHONE SCREEN!

I have now been in a theater with both children and adults who cannot sit for two hours without being on their phones!

When I’m lucky, they are completely out of my view, but, I recently went to watch Aquaman and there was this middle-aged/old-enough-to-know-better aged man who was there with a woman but constantly checking his dating app! Like, come on you thirsty old man, get it together and find some respect! If not for me, then maybe for the girl next to you whose popcorn you keep stealing.

Either wait until after the movie, or just excuse yourself. We shouldn’t all have to suffer just because you’re obsessed with your phones.

OBNOXIOUS PERSON WHO NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE, DON’T BOTHER ME!

I know that leaving the house can be such an exciting thing, but each and every time that I left my house to watch Creed II, my experience was ruined by that one person who couldn’t keep their comments, thoughts, guesses, and alternate plot theories to themselves.

I know that you think your ideas are great and that they should be heard, but save that for your blog or your mama, and not for the movie theater where we all paid to watch what the director and writer decide what would happen… not you!

LXVII: What I've Learned, Thus Far, From 2018?

Here we are! Another installment and another year of lessons!

I’ve changed things up this year and entered into it feeling a bit more liberated than I was in 2017. I had decided early on that I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted and try things. But, with that, I also opened myself up to people which is something that I normally steer very clear of.

Whenever you open up your heart, mind, and ears to new people, you’ll definitely be learning new lessons, however. Trust me!

So, here are a couple of the lessons that I’ve learned, thus far, this year:

STEER CLEAR OF THOSE WHO WANT YOUR RHYTHM BUT NOT YOUR BLUES

Wanting my rhythm and not my blues simply means that someone wants to be around me when I am happy and having fun, but when stuff hits the fan of life, they want to hit the road.

I’ve had this type of person in my life plenty-a-time!

The bad thing about me, however, is that when it comes to people who I have allowed into my life, I genuinely try my best to keep them.

BUT, sometimes in life you go through things, not to learn to work through them, but to learn to walk away from bad situations

This year has been one big lesson on walking away for me. It gets so lonely sometimes, but walking away from people who want to be around when all is well but leave when things get difficult is a very necessary reality. 

PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING

The way you view a situation says a lot about the way you view the world and the way you view yourself.

Now, I generally look at situations from a very realistic standpoint. I also use facts from the past that have created a pattern to assist with the way in which I view those situations. So, in short, when a situation presents itself, I’m an absolute realist through and through.

Now, this year has been filled with ups and downs, and I’ve worked at keeping my outlook on things upbeat enough to allow myself the ability to continue on in whatever direction I am attempting to go in life without letting things get me too down.

Changing my perspective on a lot of the things that have happened to me lately has seriously helped. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so necessary. A lot of times, perspective comes through in the form of a glass being half empty or a glass being half full. 2018 has taught me to look at things with the glass half full which has allowed me the opportunity to fill it the rest of the way on my own.

WHEN SOMETHING IS FOR YOU, IT WILL ALWAYS BECOME YOURS

This is super important for me to remember! 

I oftentimes work overtime to keep friendships and relationships with people who have never even deserved my time in the first place. It’s in my nature, however, to nurture those relationships...

BUT, when a relationship is for you, it will be yours without all of the tug-of-war! I forget this so much and it results in me making people feel way more needed than they actually are by trying to keep them in my life.

This is a habit, in me, that needs to be left in 2018. Because, trust me, you won’t be forcing the friendships and relationships that are meant to happen!  

BE REAL WITH EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES 

Now, first and foremost, you have to be real with yourself! But after that, you have to be real with everyone else.

I met someone this year who was such a gem! A beautiful soul inside and out. But, if you asked me, now, whether or not I still know this person, then my answer would honestly have to be ‘no’.

This person was so good at pretending to be the great person that I grew to very fondly enjoy, but [as you’ll read below] people can only pretend for so long (and sometimes for too long) before their true colors show.

It turns out that this person was a complete stranger to me when they showed me who they really were. What a shock!

I can see from that situation that it is, a lot of times, hard for some people to just be themselves which, to me, seems like it would be more work to pretend to be someone or something else. But, I digress, …

People usually teach me the biggest lessons and from this person, I’ve learned that you have to be super mindful of who and what you are. Remain true to yourself no matter the situation.

Real will attract real, but you have to weed through a lot of fake to get to it.

PEOPLE ARE GOOD AT PRETENDING — WATCH FOR SIGNS

I have made the mistake of underestimating the amount of time that people can live while being fake and, trust me, they can go the distance. 

But, I’ve learned that, eventually the real will always come out. 

I’ve had two friends while in school that people have completely warned me about but I ignored it and instead defended them because I wanted to base my reactions to them solely on my experiences. In hindsight, I completely wish that I would’ve listened to those people, but I didn’t, so I had to eat that loss.

I didn’t believe these things because people are so good at pretending to be things that they are not. They immitate the things that they see being attracted by others. They become so good at the facade that it’s undetectable to eyes that want to believe what they see.

But, I’ve seen that faking it gets exhaustive and they will eventually show their true colors. Some people don’t last a week, others take months, and one took years!  

 My advice to myself and others would simply be to jump ship as soon as the first sign becomes apparent. We’re so inclined to ignore the little signs because we’re enjoying the bigger moments, but trust me, cutting these people off early on is always best. 


So, there you have it! 2018 has taught me A LOT about people and how I should approach the next batch that I meet in life.

But, most of all, 2018 has taught me to look at situations from multiple angles: yes, losing a job will hurt, but there are so many benefits to it; yes, losing a ‘friend’ will hurt, but I’ve gained so many more who actually seem good; and, yes, loving someone is difficult, especially when you’re on completely different wavelengths as far as life is concerned, but opening your heart to someone has the never-ending benefit of showing you so much about yourself!

So for that, 2018, I thank you! 🎊🎊🎊

LXVI: 8 Steps to Happy!

I don’t know who needs this post more than I do, so excuse this selfish moment, but this post is for ME.

Life is a constant stream of ups and downs. Some leave you feeling good and others, not so much. I have found that, when my heart is happy, it is easier to deal with those moments that aren’t so great. So, this post is all about keeping my huge heart happy, and, in true Brianna J. style, I am taking it in steps:

STEP ONE: BREATHE.

Honestly, when I am overwhelmed with work, or emotion, or anything, I kind of forget to breathe! I hold my breath over and over again, and somehow avoid dying. It’s not on purpose, it’s just a tensing up thing that my body does when stressed.

This has been happening a lot lately and it keeps me up at night! So, I am working on breathing my way through situations. I take deep breaths in and out and just try to refocus myself.

This is something like meditating because all of your attention zeros in on your breathe. It is a beautiful mind-clearing technique, and it also keeps me from giving myself heart problems later down the line.

STEP TWO: RESET.

Each person’s reset will look differently, but is equally important.

Again, for me, my reset is me simply getting back into a routine that works for me. Anytime that my routine is offset for one reason or another, I suffer.

Fixing my routine is not always as easy as it sounds and sometimes takes me months to do, but a month to fix my routine is much better than a year of being in and out of a depressive state.

STEP THREE: LET IT ALL GO. 

We can’t waste our lives trying to figure out where one situation went wrong.  We simply have to move forward.

Let go of all that is gone. You won’t get it back, so move forward. 

I am a strong believer in ‘What Is For Me Will Not Pass Me’, so if someone wants to leave my life, then so be it.  Let them leave. Let it go! They no longer deserve to benefit from your energy. Your energy is a blessing that not everyone deserves to enjoy.

If you didn’t pass that test, then let it go! That test is gone. It’s already been failed and you won’t get those moments back. Instead, focus your energy on studying to take it again, or studying for the next test. But, the focus here is letting it go!

STEP FOUR: WATCH YOUR ENERGY. 

Your energy is different than anyone else’s. Protect it!  

You get what you put out into this world, so, if your energy is off, you’ll continue to meet people who will make you wish you’d never met them. If your energy is good, then you’ll surely meet more keepers.

You know that saying, ‘how you get em is how you lose em’? Well, I’m 99% sure that that has everything to do with energy. You meet someone while your you’re in the trenches and you’ll get complete crap people, they’ll put you right back into the trenches because that’s what they know! 

If you reset after that situation and fix your energy, you’ll meet people who match that good energy, and better relationships will form. 

STEP FIVE: BE WILLING.

I’ve been to that place before where I wasn’t willing  to work my way up to a happier state. I figured that I was placed in that sad spot for a reason and  that I had picked myself up one too many times already, so I just wanted to dwell in the down for a little while. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you do  just need to feel it!

But, once you’re done with that, you then have to be willing to accept the happiness to come. Again, it’s about energy. Once you exude happiness, happiness finds you. Once you need for nothing, everything will become yours. But, above all, be willing when it comes... 

STEP SIX: CHANGE IT UP.

Something about what you’re doing is obviously not working. Maybe the foods that you are eating are weighing you down. Maybe your circle of friends is too toxic. Maybe your relationship has run it’s course…

CHANGE IT UP! You owe it to yourself to be happy, but happiness won’t come with complacency or with playing it safe. If studying indoors makes you feel gloomy and sad, study outdoors for a change! If the people in your circle bring you down with their ways, then let them go! Be alone for awhile.

You can keep your routine and change things up, so you basically have no excuse not to give a change a try.

STEP SEVEN: RELEASE THOSE ENDORPHINS!

This means getting rid of more toxins within yourself.

Work out.

Eat chocolate.

Get physical by doing yoga, riding a bicycle, longboarding, snowboarding, or whatever you do that gets you moving!

There are so many ways to get that release, so all you have to do is go for it!

STEP EIGHT: WATCH THAT CIRCLE.

You will always be a reflection of those who you decide to surround yourself with.  

Sometimes it hurts to have to get rid of people because, maybe you had a fun relationship, but that part of the person that brings toxic energy is not worth sacrificing your mental well-being to keep them.

Also, keep a close eye on those who are only around you when things are good. It is so easy to be there for someone when they have nothing for you to be there for them about. Pay close attention to those who are there for you while you’re in the trenches — those are the people who deserve to be in your circle.

Thanks for reading! I wish happiness onto you all. 💕